Greatest customer support phone call in history:
Apple representative 1: Good afternoon sir can I please have your first name
John: John.
Apple representative 1: Can I have your ipod serial number please?
John: I have questions about ipod periferals and not the ipod itself. As well as some general questions.
Apple representative 1: Yes sir but I still need your serial number.
John: Well OK I'll just start with with my general questions first. I need an email address where I can direct technical questions regarding my ipod.
Apple representative 1: You can use our online knowledge base sir.
John: Yes, but I want an actual email address where I can direct technical questions.
Apple representative 1: No such email address exists sir.
John: So you are telling me there is no way for me to send an email to apple regarding concerns questions or comments I have about the ipod.
Apple representative 1: You can use www.apple.com/feedback to send us feedback sir.
John: OK. Can I get the email address of anyone on the design team for ipod periferals?
Apple representative 1: No sir. You can use www.apple.com/feedback
John: OK. Is there an email address for anyone at apple available?
Apple representative 1: No sir. No such email is available.
John: You're telling me in the entire great apple organization I have no mechanism for sending emails?
Apple representative 1: That is correct sir you have to use www.apple.com/feedback.
John: Do you find it interesting that an organization as large as apple has completely severed itself from emails from the outside world?
Apple representative 1: As I said sir you can use www.apple.com/feedback.
John: Yes, I understand that. But I'm asking you if you find it interesting. I can send an email to the guy who runs the corner store. But the entire apple organization. The outside world is completely severed from it via email. You don't find that odd?
Apple representative 1: No sir I don't find it odd.
John: OK, let me move on. What level of technical proficiency do you expect someoen who uses an ipod to be at?
Apple representative 1: What do you mean sir?
John: How proficient in electronics would you expect someone who uses an ipod to be?
Apple representative 1: Well I don't know sir. There are people who are very unfamiliar with computers and sometimes I answer questions for people who know more about computers than I do.
John: Even more than you?
Apple representative 1: Yes sir.
John: And what level would you place your proficiency?
Apple representative 1: I am a windows certified sir.
John: Oh well then you must be very bright
Despirately fights urge to laugh
John: OK, let move on. I own an ipod video and am trying to plug it into my TV using an AV out cable. But it is not working. Can you help me?
Apple representative 1: Is it a dock or does it plug into the earphones?
John: It plugs into the earphones.
Apple representative 1: Is it an apple AV cable or a third party solution.
John: I don't know which of the two it is. If I describe will can you tell me?
Apple representative 1: Yes sir.
John: It plugs into the earphones and had three colours. Red white and yellow.
Apple representative 1: It is a third party solution sir. We do not support third party solutions sir.
John: So there is no way you can make my third party solution work?
Apple representative 1: I will not answer questions relating to third party solutions.
John: But can you make it work?
Apple representative 1: As I said sir I will not answer questions about third part solutions.
John: I understand you will not answer questions. But I am asking the question are you capable of making it work?
Apple representative 1: I refuse to answer that sir.
John: I'm not asking you to answer a question about third party solutions. I'm asking a question about your proficiency with third party solutions
Apple representative 1: Good bye sir
Phone hangs up. I phone apple back.
Apple representative 2: Good afternoon sir can I please have your first name
John: John.
Apple representative 2: Can I have your ipod serial number please?
John Well first I just phoned in and I was treated very rudely then I was hung up on. Can I please get an email address where I can direct criticisms of the phone support. Or can I talk to your manager?
Apple representative 2: My manager will not discuss criticisms sir. You can direct feedback to www.apple.com/feedback.
John: But I want to email my concerns
Apple representative 2: There is no email sir.
John: Not surprised. So anyways getting onto my problems -
Apple representative 2: I can not answer your questions until I have your ipod serial number sir.
John: My questions are not about the ipod itself but about ipod periferals.
Apple representative 2: Yes sir but I will not answer questions until I have your ipod serial number.
John: But my questions are not about my ipod. They are about my ipod periferals. My ipod is logically removed from my ipod periferal questions so you don't need the serial number.
Apple representative 2: I won't answer your questions until I have your serial number sir.
John: My ipod is in a case. It is a bother to take out.
Apple representative 2: I won't answer your questions until I have your serial number sir.
John: You do acknowledge that you don't need the serial number don't you?
Apple representative 2: Please give me the serial number too.
John: OK. I'll give you the serial number. But only after you achnowledge you don't actually need the serial number.
Apple representative 2: I'm not answer you.
John: OK fine. I'll give you the serial number but it is a other. This ipod is in here good. You've already gotten off on a bad foot. You're making me do this for nothing...ok here is the serial number xxxxxxx
Apple representative 2: OK. Please hold...sir your technical support coverage on this ipod has expired.
John: Will you still answer my technical questions?
Apple representative 2: Well it depends on what your questions are. Please ask your questions.
John: No wait. Lets examine this. You MIGHT answer ym questions?
Apple representative 2: It depends on what your questions are.
John: So there are some questions you will answer and some you won't?
Apple representative 2: Please just ask your question sir.
John: My question is there are some questions you'll answer and some you won't?
Apple representative 2: Please ask a technical question sir.
John: And you might answer it?
Apple representative 2: Ask a question.
John: OK. I have an ipod I bought more recently. Should I give you it's serial number?
Apple representative 2: Well just ask your technical question.
John: Well OK. If I ask you a technical question and you don't answer it, because we've established there are some technical questions you won't answer, will you then answer it if I give you my other serial number?
Apple representative 2: Please just ask a question.
John: I'm just saying. I don't want to ask a question, have you not answer it and then have to get my serial number. Maybe I could just save us all time if I gave you the other serial number now.
Apple representative 2: Well OK. Give me that serial number.
John: You know what I'll roll the dice and just ask the question. We'll deal with the consequences later. I own an ipod video and am trying to get my AV out cable to work so I can watch video from my ipod to my TV. But I can't get it to work.
Apple representative 2: Do you have TV out set to on sir?
John: Yes
Apple representative 2: Is is an apple AV cable or a third party solution?
John: I own a third party solution.
Apple representative 2: I can not answer questions about third party solutions sir.
John: So you can't help me?
Apple representative 2: No.
John: OH LOOK. I also have an apple AV cable. Can you help me make that work?
Apple representative 2: Yes sir.
John: Then do proceed. Make it work.
Apple representative 2: Is the TV out set to on?
John: Yes.
Apple representative 2: Is it plugged into the earphone and into the TV.
John: Well it is plugged into the ipod via the headphones. But I can't figure out how to plug it into my TV. The third party solution is colour coded. So I know how to plug it into the TV. But the apple one is just white. I have no idea how to plug it into the TV. Do you understand what I mean?
Apple representative 2: I know exactly what you mean. Give me a minute to pull up the one you have sir...
John: Do you see how I'm confused. The third party had colours. It's easy to figure where stuff goes. But it doesn't work. and the apple one, what the fuck? It's just all white. What do I do?
Apple representative 2: IF you look at the apple plugs there are letters to indicate where the plugs go.
John: There are letters? My eyesight isn't very good. Could you describe them please?
I don't actually have the apple AV cable so I had to probe for information
Apple representative 2: There is an "A" for red, a "V" for yellow and an AUX for white. I'm not sure what letter is for that one.
John: Are the letters in colour?
Apple representative 2: No. There are just letters.
John: Then how am I supposed to know how to plug it into where?
Apple representative 2: It is in the manual sir.
John: But I lost the manual.
Apple representative 2: Well the letter to colour map is in the manual.
John: So the manual is required to use the product?
Apple representative 2: Yes.
John: Wouldn't it make more sense if the letters were coloured so I wouldn't need the manual? I'm not a very intelligent user. Don't you think it would have made things easier for me if the letters were coloured?
Apple representative 2: It is in the manual.
John: Well how am I supposed to associate A with red, V with yellow and aux or whatever the fuck with white. I mean if the letters had been R Y and W then I could have figured it out. Doesn't that make more sense to you?
Apple representative 2: As I said it is in the manual.
John: I know you said it was in the manual. But doesn't what I said make sense?
Apple representative 2: I'm not answering that sir.
John: OK. So since my eye sight isn't very good is there anyway of you having help me make it work instead of finding someone who can see better than me? So this device is broken to the visually impared?
Apple representative 2: Well, yes you need someone who can see but I can help you. Make it work.
John: How so?
Apple representative 2: Well you can try plugging them in randomly.
John: OH, LOW AND BEHOLD. WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF TRYING THAT. YOU MUST HAVE A BIG EDUCATION. WHAT I GREAT IDEA. PURE GENIUS.
Apple representative 2: Please don't mock me sire.
John: Well won't it take hours to try all possible permutations of the plugs?
Apple representative 2: No sir. You only have to try it twice.
John: Really? Twice. I would have thought there were three factorial ways of combining it.
Apple representative 2: No sir there are only two way. Lay them flat.
John: Quite right. The design of the plugs makes them an ordered set of three. Only two ways of plugging them from the ordering. But can you see why I would say there are three factorial ways of doing it?
Apple representative 2: No sir you are wrong, there are only two.
John: Well lets just hope the TV plug scheme matches the ordering scheme on the ataching wire or we are lost with three factorial ways.
Apple representative 2: Only two sir.
John: OK. I'm plugging it in now. No didn't work. What do I do now?
Apple representative 2: Turn it over and plug it in sir.
John: Oh right. Sorry. I'm not a very smart user I got lost. Right turn it over and plug it in. OH MY GOD IT WORKED. OH THANK GOD. But but wait a second. Let me try the third party solution too. OH MY GOD THE THIRD PARTY SOLUTION WORKS TOO. So, you knowledge that you are capable of making third party solutions work.
Apple representative 2: We don't support third party solutions.
John: But you do achknowledge your help allowed me to make a third party solution work?
Apple representative 2: I won't support third party solutions sir.
John: But you already did. You allowed me to make a third party solution work. Correct?
Apple representative 2: I'm not answering that.
John: So, it seems to me the difficulty was that the ipod swaped red with yellow.
Apple representative 2: I guess so.
John: Do you think that is a good deign decision?
Apple representative 2: What do you mean?
John: The designers of the ipod didn't want people using third party AV cables. So that was why they swaped yellow with red.
Apple representative 2: The colours don't matter. There are no colours on the apple AV cable.
John: But we've now discovered red has been swaped with yellow. And that was to add confusion when trying to use a third party solution.
Apple representative 2: No one was trying to confuse you sir.
John: Yes, but changing those colours adds confusion in using a third party solution. The designers did this to make it more difficult to use third party solutions. Don't you agree?
Apple representative 2: I am not a designer sir. I won't comment on design decisions.
John: There isn't any other reason to swap the colour scheme other than to introduce confusion -
Apple representative 2: There could be many reaosns for changing the colouring scheme other than introducing confusion.
John: Can you name even one?
Apple representative 2: Well the colour scheme doesn't matter. There are no colours on the apple one so it doesn't matter.
John: OK. Now that we;ve establish that the reason they changed the colours was to prevent me from using third party AV cables do you think it was effective?
Apple representative 2: The reason wasn't to prevent you from using a third party solution.
John: OK whatever. But was this effective at keeping from using a third party AV cable?
Apple representative 2: As I said the colours don't matter.
John: But you will agree I got the third party AV cable to work won't you?
Apple representative 2: The colours don't matter. Why do you care?
John In fact YOU helped me make a third party AV cable work didn't you? In our discussion today you were the one that enabled me to use a third party AV cable. Right?
Apple representative 2: I won't admit to that.
John: OK. Then will you agree that as a countermeasure changing the colouring scheme didn't prevent me from using the third party AV cable. It was an ineffective and really silly countermeasure. Woudl you agree with that? A poor design?
Apple representative 2: I'm not a designer sir. I can't answer design questions.
John: OK. One last thing. I've recorded this conversation. And I want everyone to know what a good the apple organization has for technical support and how great a job they do designing products. I want to post it on the internet.
Apple representative 2: You do not have my permission do to that sir.
John: But I just want people to possess full knowledge of services at apple. It will allow consumers to make a more informed choice. That's the way capitalism works.
Apple representative 2: You are not allowed to do that sir. I never knew you were recording this conversation and I do not give you permission.
John: But you record it on your end. Besides. You can't stop me from making it available. How could you. You can't track me. ou have no way of preventing it.
Apple representative 2: We don't distribute your conversations.
John: OK. So how do you intend to stop me from distributing it. I' just curious what steps you'll take?
Apple hangs up.
Apple iPod AV Cable
http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/canadastore.woa/wa/RSLID?s=topSellers&fnode=home/shop_ipod/ipod_accessories/cables_docks&nplm=M9765G/B&mco=B5F4A608
How fucking retarded do these people have to think we are? Monkey's smashing their heads with pots have enough brain power to overcome these counter measures. Why did they even bother building them. The time they spent thinking and building these defenses could have been better spent making mentally deficient children from their clearly inferior DNA pool.
The good people at Apple want you to buy a propietary ipod TV out adapter.
http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/canadastore.woa/wa/RSLID?s=topSellers&fnode=home/shop_ipod/ipod_accessories/cables_docks&nplm=M9765G/B&mco=B5F4A608
What they don't want you to know is any camcorder A/V-to-RCA will do the same job.
http://www.oreillynet.com/pub/a/mac/2005/11/18/video-ipod.html
But oh. Apple has put in an elaborate and genius countermeasure to force me to use their proprietary TV adapter. What is the brilliant and elaborate technique they used? What complexity did they instill in their product to prevent us from using the stadard A/V-to-RCA adapter? Well they swaped the red and yellow colours.
http://www.oreillynet.com/mac/2005/11/18/graphics/figure1.gif
* Plug the red RCA plug into your TV's yellow RCA jack.
* Plug the yellow RCA plug into your TV's white RCA jack.
* Plug the white RCA plug into your TV's red RCA jack.
Jesus fuck. No one will ever overcome this elegant ruse. I want to find the person who came up with this idea and ask him if he thought it would be enough to outsmart anyone over the age of five.
But their genius gets even better. If you look at the Apple iPod AV Cable
http://store.apple.com/Catalog/US/Images/lm_altview_avcable.jpg
it's not colour coded anyways. So anyone trying to use it would have to test the different colours in different slots. So their product is just as vulnerable to the colour confusion and the generic A/V-to-RCA adapter.
So first you build a countermeasure that really doesn't work. Then you build your product to be just as vulnerable or even more vulnerable to your own countermeasure then third party solutions.
Just great work guys.
I wanted to send an email to apple. However, it is difficult to find an email address to anyone that actually works at apple.
Instead I decided to phone their technical support.
During the process of phoning their technical support I had to select that I wanted techncial support twice as well as the fact that I wanted support for the ipod twice.
I also had to phone in twice as I was hung up on.
Unfortunetly I did not record our conversation but most of the better points are typed out.
www.apple.com/feedback
If you could please forward this to the person who came up with the idea to swap red for yellow on the ipod video AV output I would appreciate it.
If you don't know who it is could you please forward it to someone in the Apple ipod accessory design department. I would appreciate it.
This email is with regards to the
http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/canadastore.woa/wa/RSLID?s=topSellers&fnode=home/shop_ipod/ipod_accessories/cables_docks&nplm=M9765G/B&mco=B5F4A608
namely
Apple iPod AV Cable
Hey great designer, did you study under Alan Turing? Because you are a fucking genius. I love the way you swapped red for yellow. It was like a trap. How could anyone overcome the confusion you would cause by swaping red with yellow? I'm sure the sales of Apple iPod AV Cable were assured because your defence against standard A/V-to-RCA adapter was impenatrable.
Oh wait. It's not. Please tell me you were drunk when you came up with this. If you're not going to do something right why bother doing it at all? It just makes you look stupid.
But your genius gets even better. If you look at the Apple iPod AV Cable
http://store.apple.com/Catalog/US/Images/lm_altview_avcable.jpg
it's not colour coded anyways. So anyone trying to use it would have to test the different colours in different slots. So your product is just as vulnerable to the colour confusion and the generic A/V-to-RCA adapter.
So first you build a countermeasure that really doesn't work. Then you build your product to be just as vulnerable or even more vulnerable to your own countermeasure then third party solutions.
Good one buddy.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Dear Playboy Dear Hustler Dear payU2Blog.com
A letter I wrote to playboy:
Dear playboy.
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
A letter I wrote to Hustler:
Dear hustler. I think I could be a valuable member of your team.
Dear Hustler
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
A letter I wrote to payu2blog.com
Dear payu2blog
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
Dear playboy.
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
A letter I wrote to Hustler:
Dear hustler. I think I could be a valuable member of your team.
Dear Hustler
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
A letter I wrote to payu2blog.com
Dear payu2blog
I think you should hire me as a writer.
My articles would consist of stories of me getting extremely high and then hiring prostitutes to do very odd things. Not sexual things, but unexpected things like cleaning a kitchen. The goal is to leave the girl confused. Other experimental story telling devices will be used in my articles.
I believe these would make for good articles.
I have written similar experimental articles in my blog:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I am university educated and full of great ideas. Please consider me.
I'll always be with you.
Second try to get paid blogging about hoes.
Second try to get paid blogging about hoes.
Email sent to another escort blog.
Subject:
You should hire me to write articles for your website
Body:
Hey bitch. Hire me to write articles for your website. I'm a fucking genius. I already have a blog with escort content on it:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
Check it out. I could be writing articles like that for you.
Email sent to another escort blog.
Subject:
You should hire me to write articles for your website
Body:
Hey bitch. Hire me to write articles for your website. I'm a fucking genius. I already have a blog with escort content on it:
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
Check it out. I could be writing articles like that for you.
Trying to get paid about blogging about Toronto escorts.
Attempt to get paid about blogging about Toronto escorts.
There exists a blog about Toronto escorts. They want writers for their site to be paid to write about escorts. This is my application:
Contact Us
Please use the form below to contact xxxxxx xxxxxx Blog:
*All Fields Are Required
*Name:
Big John
*Email:
BigJohn1349@gmail.com
*Message:
Dear Sir or Madam.
I believe I would be a strong addition to your team. I have a degree in computer science and am excellent problem solver. I have a long list of experience working for software companies.
I also have my own blog that contains content about escorts.
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I believe my articles would be a good addition to your website. You should pay me to blog about escorts.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
My blog entries are written when very high. Thus there are typos and unedited portions. I think this adds value to my entries. However, I am capable of refining my posts for your site.
Please contact me as I feel we can work together.
Response so far:
Contact Form Confirmation
Your message has been sent.
We will contact you as soon as possible.
There exists a blog about Toronto escorts. They want writers for their site to be paid to write about escorts. This is my application:
Contact Us
Please use the form below to contact xxxxxx xxxxxx Blog:
*All Fields Are Required
*Name:
Big John
*Email:
BigJohn1349@gmail.com
*Message:
Dear Sir or Madam.
I believe I would be a strong addition to your team. I have a degree in computer science and am excellent problem solver. I have a long list of experience working for software companies.
I also have my own blog that contains content about escorts.
http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/
I believe my articles would be a good addition to your website. You should pay me to blog about escorts.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
My blog entries are written when very high. Thus there are typos and unedited portions. I think this adds value to my entries. However, I am capable of refining my posts for your site.
Please contact me as I feel we can work together.
Response so far:
Contact Form Confirmation
Your message has been sent.
We will contact you as soon as possible.
Harassing a prostitute.
Well, not really. Harassing is too strong a word. More like a playful email game.
Email sent to Miko of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure people I know people in the area you live. I really wouldn't want to explain why I'm in your area. "What you doing here?"
"Oh, seeing a prostitute."
I also don't want to run into you while I'm with friends. What is the social edicate? Do I say hi? What if my friends ask how I know you?
"Oh, my friend Tim introduced us."
By the way I was talking to Tim about you.
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/566744433.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/566731903.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534398359.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534303023.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534298559.html
Email sent to Miko of Toronto.
I'm pretty sure people I know people in the area you live. I really wouldn't want to explain why I'm in your area. "What you doing here?"
"Oh, seeing a prostitute."
I also don't want to run into you while I'm with friends. What is the social edicate? Do I say hi? What if my friends ask how I know you?
"Oh, my friend Tim introduced us."
By the way I was talking to Tim about you.
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/566744433.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/566731903.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534398359.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534303023.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/534298559.html
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Taking software quality back one bug at a time
I decided to compare and contrast the html text encoding done by google, blogger and craigslist.
The results were as follows from best to worst
google
fairly large gap
blogger
EXTREMELY large gap
craigslist
Google had few errors and translated my text verbatim as well as adding html in a user useful way.
Blogger wasn't too bad.
I was pissed off it choped off the title of this post.
i.e.
"Taking software quality back one bug at a t"
It was supposed to be
"Taking software quality back one bug at a time"
Yes, that's right. I used this blog entry itself to test Bloggers html text encoding.
Also, it chooses to translate text into HTML in an erratic way. If there is space between < and the HTML tag name then it is not translated. If there is space between < and the HTML tag then it is translated into HTML. Seemed like an odd criteria for me.
Blogger also gave me odd warnings.
ERROR
Your HTML cannot be accepted: Tag is not allowed:
then made me click
| box | Stop showing title or body HTML errors for this post
then went through.
It knew how to handle a < by itself (properly handled). In their defence, most bloggers are in fact HTML literate and want to write html for their blog. The same thing can not be said about users of craigslist. For places I wanted users to see HTML I had to have a space between < and the html tag name that followed.
In comparison the people at craigslist looked like retarded 6 year olds taking stupid pills. I mean were the people over there the offspring of a Bavarian whore so full of STD's that her children were destined for mental weakness. Ya. I guess so.
The gist of it is craigslist doesn't even try to encode text into html. A simple HtmlEncode(String) or Server.HTMLEncode(sValue) would have spared them my wrath. But no so they get the full assault.
The following email is a bug report I sent to the fine C-developers over at craigslist. Their automated response follows. When further responses come I will post.
This email was sent to:
press@craigslist.org, abuse@craigslist.org
It details the MANY MANY problems in the way craiglist handles user entered text.
bcc:
subject
Bug found in your software. You might want to fix it.
body:
Dear asshole fucks who built or maintain craigslist. I hope your first term at University is going well. Because jesus fuck there is so many bugs on this site that you must be having fun banging first term University bitches because you sure as fuck arn't spending any time working on this site.
Don't call me an expert or anything ( ya I got a degree in computer science ) but when I build a piece of software I actually use it to see if it works. Like I said I know you are busy geting sucky sucky from asian girl experimenting with her newfound freedom from her family in University. She's drunk for the first time and she's actually willing to bang a first year bitch like you. Don't worry a few years into school they will teach you courses on software design. Like the ever allusive testing idea that you should actually run the program to see if it works. P.S. Lei Cheng is a fucking whore.
So hey, I 'll help you out so you can spend more time with clingy asian girl. Just an older developer giving a youngin a tip or two.
You can not assume the users of craigslist will understand the process of writing text, submitting through a form, having that text transformed into an SQL command, placed in a relational database, then having that entry tranlated back into text and then transformed into HTML code to be displayed on a browser. Hey, you can't even expect me to understand the HTML language. But hey, being all new to this stuff I bet your knowledge of HTML will help you score another time with that whore asian girl. Is she really worth the effort. She's just annoying now. All you wana do is play video games and have her cook for you. Is that worth her being all bitchy? You know your walking from her soon, just pull the triger.
So when a guy uses a character like < don't expect him to realize he's now writing HTML code.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
<
Comensation
$10
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573565367@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:00AM EST
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573565367
WHY IS IT A BUG
Why is thins output wrong. Hmmm. Wait where is
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573565367.html
(See ASSHOLE. When you find a bug you include the input, output, why output was incorrect and if possible any other artifacts might help you fix the bug i.e. A FUCKING VEERBATUM COPY OF THE OUTPUT FOR YOU TO REVIEW YOUSELF. I titled these things ATTEMPT, RESULT, WHY IS IT A BUG, ARTIFACT incase you got lost and didn't know what I was listing). You probably did get lost with the title ATTEMPT when you expected "input" to be the title.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" >perfect website
Comensation
$10
RESULTbigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573573449@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:14AM EST
perfect website !!!!!(this is a link to my blog)!!!!!
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573573449
See where I added !!!!!
This was so you understood (this is a link to my blog) was not in the actual test result. It was describing something in the test result. Hope that didn't confuse you.
RESULT WHY IS IT A BUG
I should see < a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">before and after perfect website
Oh and by the way the "PostingID: 573573449". Hey. Thanks. Because I really want to know unique key with this record. You know I'm such a normal forms admirer. Hey most users are at this level of appreciation and hey me knowing 573573449 is so useful for me. Because...oh wait I can do nothing with 573573449. Oh wait If I'm particularly eager I can "http://toronto.craigslist.ca" + "/tor" + "/tfr" + 573573449 ".html". Oh me as a common user will figure that out. But hey you did assume that I would know that I WAS WRITING FUCKING HTML CODE INSTEAD OF PLAIN TEXT. Ya most users are at that level. Oh wait, maybe you assumed no user could commonly use those crazy HTML special characters. No one will type a message like
Title: Hey a neat math problem I found
Posting: if 100 <> 0 over what sets for x and y is (x,y): finite, countable, uncountable.
OH FUCKING WAIT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WRITING HTML CHARACTERS ALL THE TIME.
But hey, I'm sure this won't cause any major user errors will it?
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573583880@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:33AM EST
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573583880
WHY IS IT A BUG
Actually, it is not. Didn't break you yet.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573583880.html
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
< a href="I suspect everything here is invisible">perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 (Toronto)
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:40AM EST
perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
WHY IS IT A BUG
What happened to "I suspect everything here is invisible". Oh no.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573587981.html
Oh, by the way. Why did my result have no
"PostingID: 573587981"
Oh. I got the output BEFORE I entered those letter verification entries. I guess it had not been entered into the database yet. How smart of you guys, not creating a database entry on a post that might not be created. Because the user could be a bot and those bots can't enter letters. Your so clever. OH WAIT ASSHOLE WHY DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE THOSE STUPID VERIFICATION LETTER ON THE PAGE I WROTE THE POST. You would have saved me a few clicks. Hey don't worry. I know you are find of a moron but some of those fourth year courses you'll take later on will be pretty easy. Such as Interface Design courses.
CS 349 LAB,LEC 0.50 Course ID: 011727
User Interfaces
Ya, guys like me don't bother taking those easy courses.
I was busy with
CS 446 DIS,LAB,LEC,TUT 0.50 Course ID: 004414
Software Design and Architectures
http://ece.uwaterloo.ca/~ece452/
But even though my interface design will be APIs other developers will be calling I've still got enough human common sense to save the user a click or two when possible.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 id 996
Posting Description:
< a href=" bigjohn1349 gmail com want money email me ">Perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 id 996
Reply to: job-573595366@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:56AM EST
Perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
WHY IS IT A BUG
Well. No one is going to know to email bigjohn1349@gmail. com
Oh but wait. Since the users are literate with HTML they will click
View
Page Source
Or just Ctrl-U
And I can see
< a href=" bigjohn1349 gmail com want money email me " rel="nofollow">Perfect site
Yes, because users routinely view the source code of their site.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573595366.html
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">Perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573606535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 2:21AM EST
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
Perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573606535
WHY IT IS A BUG
So in this case our user is in fact literate with HTML. He has written some HTML to his friend. He wants to help him with his site. So he wrote some HTML and wants his friend to read the html code and use it on his site. But wait he doesn't get:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">Perfect site
he just gets:
Perfect site
Oh, well since both people are clearly computer literate he can just look at the posting source code and read:
____________________
I chose not to try to get this displaying as text in blogspot
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware any deal involving Western Union, Moneygram, wire transfer, cashier check, money order, shipping, escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee. More info
Reply to: job-573606535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 2:21AM EST
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Perfect site
PostingID: 573606535
Oh what the hell is this garbeled fuck. How oh how am I going to find my piece of source code in this. Oh there it is:
< br />
< br />
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Perfect site
< br />
< br />
Actually, modifications have been made to the original code still. So ya, I guess I can't really post my cute HTML code for others to use on their websites. The rejection is a bitch eh? Just like bitch asian girl must have felt like when her ass was rejected on your birthday. Hey sorry bitch. You gotta go. But ya, happy birthday. Go have a breakdown now.
So asshole. Because you are obviously retarded could you use a HtmlEncode(String) to get posts displaying correctly.
http://msdn2.microsoft.com/en-us/library/system.web.httpserverutility.htmlencode.aspx
Or maybe Server.HTMLEncode(sValue)?
http://www.aspnut.com/reference/encoding.asp#htmldecode
It is just a simple addition to your code but it will make things look so much more professional. But hey, who would have been smart enough to include that when building the system. Oh, don't worry. After you graduate you'll be smart like me and things like that will be easier for you.
I get so angry when I see poorly written software. But tonight I thought I would do something about it. Yes, that's right. I'm taking back quality software one bug at a time.
Oh, by the way. I wrote this email in vi. That way I know none of the special characters got screwed up in writing.
I also love how easy you make it to find an email on your page for me to send bugs to. And ya, I know your still not in first year. Your glowing bio
http://www.craigslist.org/about/jim.buckmaster.html
really portrays you as not a fucking moron. OH WAIT!
PPS I'm willing to be the smart people at google will have the proper text interpretation and you'll be able to read this text as I intended it to be read. I guess that's why you couldn't get a job with them. Oh, but I'm also submitting this email through your online contact us forum:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/emailForm.cgi
Oh wait since you implemented it there's no way you'll read it correctly though there. I sure hope blogspot will display all the text correctly when I enter this email in my blog.
PPS I love the way when I'm in tv/film/video/radio jobs
http://toronto.craigslist.org/tor/tfr/
and I wana post I gotta click
post
I will abide by these guidelines
tv/film/video/radio jobs
city of toronto
and then actually write my post.
Holy fuck. You wouldn't assume I wanted to post in area I'm currently viewing. Nah. Hey asshole more extra clicks and I gotta find the god damn area I was in again. I'M HIGH! IT'S HARD TO FIND IT AGAIN!
Their reply:
Thanks for using craigslist!
Sorry for the automated reply, but we don't have much choice, due to the
volume of inquiries. Answer to many questions can be found in the FAQ below,
and we'll do our best to get back to you quickly if your issue is not
addressed in the FAQ or Terms of Use.
ABUSE, HARASSMENT ISSUES (unwanted phone calls, personal info posted)
Please re-send your inquiry to "abuse@craigslist.org".
QUESTIONS ABOUT PAID POSTS (jobs, NYC brokered housing)
Please re-send your inquiry to "jobs@craigslist.org".
*************************************************************************
1) Why was my post removed?
2) Why can't I login, and why have I never received a password?
3) I have an account -- how do I reset my password?
4) How do I edit or delete my post?
5) Why do I get an error message when I use the "reply-to" links in ads?
6) How do I add a picture to a new post, or to an existing post?
7) Why am I getting an error message in my browser when I add images?
8) Why am I not seeing the changes that I made to my post?
9) How much does it cost to post an ad?
10) Why am I getting a duplicate posting error when I submit a post?
11) Why am I not seeing my post on the site?
12) Can I send an anonymous reply to people that have responded to my post?
************************************************************
1) Why was my post removed?
Here are some possible explanations for why posts are removed:
* posting too frequently
* large number of ads
* posting in multiple craigslist sites or categories
* post placed in the wrong craigslist city or category
* commercial content in non-commercial category
* post contains link/URL to commercial service, web site, or auction
* title contains ALL CAPS and/or unnecessary symbols
For additional help, visit craigslist's flag help discussion forum:
http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=3
(Be sure to review the guidelines in the right panel of that forum.)
************************************************************
2) Why can't I login, and why have I never received a password?
You may not actually have an account, they're not required to place an ad. If
you did not sign up for an account and set up a password, it's likely that you
don't have an account.
For more information about user accounts, go to this page:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/user_accounts
*************************************************************
3) I have an account -- how do I reset my password?
You can reset your password from this page:
https://accounts.craigslist.org/login/rstpwd
If you have trouble using the password reset link, it may be an issue with your
web browser -- try clearing the cache, clearing cookies, clearing history, etc.
Also, we've received some reports that the problem may be related to older web
browsers. If possible, see if you can use a different browser or a different
computer.
*************************************************************
4) How do I edit or delete my post?
You can edit or delete your post with the same link that you originally
used to publish it. If you don't have that link, you can request a new one
from this page:
http://www.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/resend
If you posted the ad from a craigslist account, log in to your account and
go to your account home page. Look for the post you want to edit or delete,
click on the post title, and hit the "edit" or "delete" button.)
*************************************************************
5) Why do I get an error message when I use the "reply-to" links in ads?
It's likely that your browser (Firefox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, etc)
is not set up to handle these links properly. Here's a workaround:
* copy the craiglist email address (i.e., job-123456789@craigslist.org)
* open the program that you use to send email, start a new email message
* enter the craigslist email address into the "To" line of your new message
* complete your email and send it
If an ad expires or is otherwise removed from the listings, the anonymous
email address will no longer function.
*************************************************************
6) How do I add a picture to a new post, or to an existing post?
When you create a new ad, look for the "add/edit images" button in the main
posting form. This same button is available in the screen that comes up
when you edit an existing post, in case you want to add or change images
after the ad has been published.
Additional instructions are available here:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/pic
*************************************************************
7) Why am I getting an error message in my browser when I add images?
Your images may be too large -- this often happens with newer digital
cameras. Try reducing the file size of each picture so that the dimensions
are under 300 pixels per side.
For tips on how to reduce the size of photos, check these resources:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=reduce+size+digital+photos&btnG=Search
*************************************************************
8) Why am I not seeing the changes that I made to my post?
You may need to refresh/reload your browser, using the refresh/reload icon
at the top of your browser, usually next to the left and right arrows.
Also, try viewing the ad with a different browser (we recommend Firefox),
or from a different computer, to see if the changes are displayed.
*************************************************************
9) How much does it cost to post an ad?
All posts are free, except for:
* job ads on the BOS, LAX, NYC, SEA, SDO, SFO, WDC sites
* brokered rental housing ads on the NYC site
See this page for fees relating to these categories:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/post-fees.html
****************************************************************
10) Why am I getting a duplicate posting error when I submit a post?
You must wait 48 hours before re-posting an ad, even if the original post
has already been removed. This can be frustrating, but it helps keep spam
and duplicate posts to a minimum.
*************************************************************
11) Why am I not seeing my post on the site?
Your ad should be visible within 15 minutes of submission - make sure you
are viewing the correct city, category, and date range, and reload the
page using the reload/refresh button at the top of your browser.
If you are still having trouble, please review this help page:
http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/how_to_find_your_post_in_the_listings
*************************************************************
12) Can I send an anonymous reply to people that have responded to my post?
When you reply to people who have responded to your ad, your email address
will be visible to them. We provide anonymity only when you post your ad,
so that your actual email address will not be visible to the public.
***************************************************************
More help can be found here: http://www.craigslist.org/about/help/
Or, check the help desk forum: http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=9
And thanks again for using craigslist!
The results were as follows from best to worst
fairly large gap
blogger
EXTREMELY large gap
craigslist
Google had few errors and translated my text verbatim as well as adding html in a user useful way.
Blogger wasn't too bad.
I was pissed off it choped off the title of this post.
i.e.
"Taking software quality back one bug at a t"
It was supposed to be
"Taking software quality back one bug at a time"
Yes, that's right. I used this blog entry itself to test Bloggers html text encoding.
Also, it chooses to translate text into HTML in an erratic way. If there is space between < and the HTML tag name then it is not translated. If there is space between < and the HTML tag then it is translated into HTML. Seemed like an odd criteria for me.
Blogger also gave me odd warnings.
ERROR
Your HTML cannot be accepted: Tag is not allowed:
then made me click
| box | Stop showing title or body HTML errors for this post
then went through.
It knew how to handle a < by itself (properly handled). In their defence, most bloggers are in fact HTML literate and want to write html for their blog. The same thing can not be said about users of craigslist. For places I wanted users to see HTML I had to have a space between < and the html tag name that followed.
In comparison the people at craigslist looked like retarded 6 year olds taking stupid pills. I mean were the people over there the offspring of a Bavarian whore so full of STD's that her children were destined for mental weakness. Ya. I guess so.
The gist of it is craigslist doesn't even try to encode text into html. A simple HtmlEncode(String) or Server.HTMLEncode(sValue) would have spared them my wrath. But no so they get the full assault.
The following email is a bug report I sent to the fine C-developers over at craigslist. Their automated response follows. When further responses come I will post.
This email was sent to:
press@craigslist.org, abuse@craigslist.org
It details the MANY MANY problems in the way craiglist handles user entered text.
bcc:
subject
Bug found in your software. You might want to fix it.
body:
Dear asshole fucks who built or maintain craigslist. I hope your first term at University is going well. Because jesus fuck there is so many bugs on this site that you must be having fun banging first term University bitches because you sure as fuck arn't spending any time working on this site.
Don't call me an expert or anything ( ya I got a degree in computer science ) but when I build a piece of software I actually use it to see if it works. Like I said I know you are busy geting sucky sucky from asian girl experimenting with her newfound freedom from her family in University. She's drunk for the first time and she's actually willing to bang a first year bitch like you. Don't worry a few years into school they will teach you courses on software design. Like the ever allusive testing idea that you should actually run the program to see if it works. P.S. Lei Cheng is a fucking whore.
So hey, I 'll help you out so you can spend more time with clingy asian girl. Just an older developer giving a youngin a tip or two.
You can not assume the users of craigslist will understand the process of writing text, submitting through a form, having that text transformed into an SQL command, placed in a relational database, then having that entry tranlated back into text and then transformed into HTML code to be displayed on a browser. Hey, you can't even expect me to understand the HTML language. But hey, being all new to this stuff I bet your knowledge of HTML will help you score another time with that whore asian girl. Is she really worth the effort. She's just annoying now. All you wana do is play video games and have her cook for you. Is that worth her being all bitchy? You know your walking from her soon, just pull the triger.
So when a guy uses a character like < don't expect him to realize he's now writing HTML code.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
<
Comensation
$10
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573565367@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:00AM EST
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573565367
WHY IS IT A BUG
Why is thins output wrong. Hmmm. Wait where is
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573565367.html
(See ASSHOLE. When you find a bug you include the input, output, why output was incorrect and if possible any other artifacts might help you fix the bug i.e. A FUCKING VEERBATUM COPY OF THE OUTPUT FOR YOU TO REVIEW YOUSELF. I titled these things ATTEMPT, RESULT, WHY IS IT A BUG, ARTIFACT incase you got lost and didn't know what I was listing). You probably did get lost with the title ATTEMPT when you expected "input" to be the title.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" >perfect website
Comensation
$10
RESULTbigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573573449@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:14AM EST
perfect website !!!!!(this is a link to my blog)!!!!!
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573573449
See where I added !!!!!
This was so you understood (this is a link to my blog) was not in the actual test result. It was describing something in the test result. Hope that didn't confuse you.
RESULT WHY IS IT A BUG
I should see < a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">before and after perfect website
Oh and by the way the "PostingID: 573573449". Hey. Thanks. Because I really want to know unique key with this record. You know I'm such a normal forms admirer. Hey most users are at this level of appreciation and hey me knowing 573573449 is so useful for me. Because...oh wait I can do nothing with 573573449. Oh wait If I'm particularly eager I can "http://toronto.craigslist.ca" + "/tor" + "/tfr" + 573573449 ".html". Oh me as a common user will figure that out. But hey you did assume that I would know that I WAS WRITING FUCKING HTML CODE INSTEAD OF PLAIN TEXT. Ya most users are at that level. Oh wait, maybe you assumed no user could commonly use those crazy HTML special characters. No one will type a message like
Title: Hey a neat math problem I found
Posting: if 100 <> 0 over what sets for x and y is (x,y): finite, countable, uncountable.
OH FUCKING WAIT PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE WRITING HTML CHARACTERS ALL THE TIME.
But hey, I'm sure this won't cause any major user errors will it?
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573583880@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:33AM EST
Opening text.
So if x < y then will
...
I suspect all text in arrows is invisible
Yes I agree x y < for all
..
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573583880
WHY IS IT A BUG
Actually, it is not. Didn't break you yet.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573583880.html
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
< a href="I suspect everything here is invisible">perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 (Toronto)
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:40AM EST
perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
WHY IS IT A BUG
What happened to "I suspect everything here is invisible". Oh no.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573587981.html
Oh, by the way. Why did my result have no
"PostingID: 573587981"
Oh. I got the output BEFORE I entered those letter verification entries. I guess it had not been entered into the database yet. How smart of you guys, not creating a database entry on a post that might not be created. Because the user could be a bot and those bots can't enter letters. Your so clever. OH WAIT ASSHOLE WHY DIDN'T YOU INCLUDE THOSE STUPID VERIFICATION LETTER ON THE PAGE I WROTE THE POST. You would have saved me a few clicks. Hey don't worry. I know you are find of a moron but some of those fourth year courses you'll take later on will be pretty easy. Such as Interface Design courses.
CS 349 LAB,LEC 0.50 Course ID: 011727
User Interfaces
Ya, guys like me don't bother taking those easy courses.
I was busy with
CS 446 DIS,LAB,LEC,TUT 0.50 Course ID: 004414
Software Design and Architectures
http://ece.uwaterloo.ca/~ece452/
But even though my interface design will be APIs other developers will be calling I've still got enough human common sense to save the user a click or two when possible.
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 id 996
Posting Description:
< a href=" bigjohn1349 gmail com want money email me ">Perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10 id 996
Reply to: job-573595366@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 1:56AM EST
Perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
WHY IS IT A BUG
Well. No one is going to know to email bigjohn1349@gmail. com
Oh but wait. Since the users are literate with HTML they will click
View
Page Source
Or just Ctrl-U
And I can see
< a href=" bigjohn1349 gmail com want money email me " rel="nofollow">Perfect site
Yes, because users routinely view the source code of their site.
ARTIFACT
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/tfr/573595366.html
ATTEMPT
Posting Title:
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Posting Description:
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">Perfect site
RESULT
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573606535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 2:21AM EST
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
Perfect site
* Location: Toronto
* Compensation: $10
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573606535
WHY IT IS A BUG
So in this case our user is in fact literate with HTML. He has written some HTML to his friend. He wants to help him with his site. So he wrote some HTML and wants his friend to read the html code and use it on his site. But wait he doesn't get:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/">Perfect site
he just gets:
Perfect site
Oh, well since both people are clearly computer literate he can just look at the posting source code and read:
____________________
I chose not to try to get this displaying as text in blogspot
please flag with care:
miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Avoid scams and fraud by dealing locally! Beware any deal involving Western Union, Moneygram, wire transfer, cashier check, money order, shipping, escrow, or any promise of transaction protection/certification/guarantee. More info
bigjohn1349 gmail com Figure out the meaning of this post $10
Reply to: job-573606535@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-02-14, 2:21AM EST
Hello there. This is the actual html code that you wanted to write. Put it up on your site:
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Perfect site
- Location: Toronto
- Compensation: $10
- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
- Please, no phone calls about this job!
- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 573606535
Would you like to:
Oh what the hell is this garbeled fuck. How oh how am I going to find my piece of source code in this. Oh there it is:
< br />
< br />
< a href="http://bigjohn1349.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">Perfect site
< br />
< br />
Actually, modifications have been made to the original code still. So ya, I guess I can't really post my cute HTML code for others to use on their websites. The rejection is a bitch eh? Just like bitch asian girl must have felt like when her ass was rejected on your birthday. Hey sorry bitch. You gotta go. But ya, happy birthday. Go have a breakdown now.
So asshole. Because you are obviously retarded could you use a HtmlEncode(String) to get posts displaying correctly.
http://msdn2.microsoft.com/en-us/library/system.web.httpserverutility.htmlencode.aspx
Or maybe Server.HTMLEncode(sValue)?
http://www.aspnut.com/reference/encoding.asp#htmldecode
It is just a simple addition to your code but it will make things look so much more professional. But hey, who would have been smart enough to include that when building the system. Oh, don't worry. After you graduate you'll be smart like me and things like that will be easier for you.
I get so angry when I see poorly written software. But tonight I thought I would do something about it. Yes, that's right. I'm taking back quality software one bug at a time.
Oh, by the way. I wrote this email in vi. That way I know none of the special characters got screwed up in writing.
I also love how easy you make it to find an email on your page for me to send bugs to. And ya, I know your still not in first year. Your glowing bio
http://www.craigslist.org/about/jim.buckmaster.html
really portrays you as not a fucking moron. OH WAIT!
PPS I'm willing to be the smart people at google will have the proper text interpretation and you'll be able to read this text as I intended it to be read. I guess that's why you couldn't get a job with them. Oh, but I'm also submitting this email through your online contact us forum:
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/cgi-bin/emailForm.cgi
Oh wait since you implemented it there's no way you'll read it correctly though there. I sure hope blogspot will display all the text correctly when I enter this email in my blog.
PPS I love the way when I'm in tv/film/video/radio jobs
http://toronto.craigslist.org/tor/tfr/
and I wana post I gotta click
post
I will abide by these guidelines
tv/film/video/radio jobs
city of toronto
and then actually write my post.
Holy fuck. You wouldn't assume I wanted to post in area I'm currently viewing. Nah. Hey asshole more extra clicks and I gotta find the god damn area I was in again. I'M HIGH! IT'S HARD TO FIND IT AGAIN!
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Casting call for student film to be distributed through youtube and other video recording sites.
Casting call for student film to be distributed through youtube and other video sharing sites.
Student film casting for a person 19 - 27. Ethnicity does not matter. Must not be overweight and presentable.
The film will consist of the following script
Scene 1 enter in on house
actor:I will waive all ownership of the film and its distribution.
John: Alright. Show me how to set this video software up
actor demonstrates software.
Joh: all right
All parties take several hits off the bong
actor: So now I go and run around in the thick snow?
John: all right
John records actor running around in the snow
Roll to credits
End of story.
Film will pay $500.
You must have digital film equipment.
You have to cover your own travel (you have to have a car)
You must be willing to get high during the filming.
You will waive all ownership of the film and its distribution.
Knowledge of and access to video editing software. i.e. I need you to show me how to use and give me some video editing software for windows XP.
This is an experiment in viral marketing using video sharing websites.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
www bigjohn1349 blogspot com
Student film casting for a person 19 - 27. Ethnicity does not matter. Must not be overweight and presentable.
The film will consist of the following script
Scene 1 enter in on house
actor:I will waive all ownership of the film and its distribution.
John: Alright. Show me how to set this video software up
actor demonstrates software.
Joh: all right
All parties take several hits off the bong
actor: So now I go and run around in the thick snow?
John: all right
John records actor running around in the snow
Roll to credits
End of story.
Film will pay $500.
You must have digital film equipment.
You have to cover your own travel (you have to have a car)
You must be willing to get high during the filming.
You will waive all ownership of the film and its distribution.
Knowledge of and access to video editing software. i.e. I need you to show me how to use and give me some video editing software for windows XP.
This is an experiment in viral marketing using video sharing websites.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
www bigjohn1349 blogspot com
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Response to email
My email:
I just wanted to write you a thank you email. Alison was great tonight. Couldn't have gotten a better service.
The only thing I wish is that she had a little better sense of humor. She didn't really want to laugh much. I like to have a girl who wants to laugh and be silly.
Besides that she was great. I hope she tells the agency I am a good customer and to send me good girls who are eager.
Thanks again. Look forward to continues business.
I just wanted to write you a thank you email. Alison was great tonight. Couldn't have gotten a better service.
The only thing I wish is that she had a little better sense of humor. She didn't really want to laugh much. I like to have a girl who wants to laugh and be silly.
Besides that she was great. I hope she tells the agency I am a good customer and to send me good girls who are eager.
Thanks again. Look forward to continues business.
Response:
Re: Alison was great.
Hi John
I'm not sure who Alison is? Was it the new girl last night? Please let me know.
Thanks
Nicole
Re: Alison was great.
Hi John
I'm not sure who Alison is? Was it the new girl last night? Please let me know.
Thanks
Nicole
Looking for a girl to star in short student film - $1000
Looking for a girl to star in short student film - $1000
I want to get this movie made. Send a link to this blog article out to your friends and it will help me to find a girl willing to make this movie with.
If anyone knows a girl in film school they should be targeted.
http://www.digg.com/arts_culture/Looking_for_a_girl_to_star_in_short_student_film_1000
Digg this article up folks.
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/571414807.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/571413485.html
I will pay you $1000 to be in my short film.
You must be willing to sign over ownership of material to me.
You must have a webcam.
You must be able to film.
You must give me a copy of the web movie immediately and load it onto my computer.
Once I'm satisfied full movie is on my computer I pay you.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
This is an opportunity to make money and observe how viral marketing works.
I give you $1000. Internet hype starts with this email. You read it. It is a funny script and story so then you send it to a friend. Another friend sends. And so on.
Finally after hearing people talk about this email you decide you want to be the girl that does it.
You are in a web movie that viral marketing has hyped. It is your big break. It is certainly better than writing a DIGG song. People read the script and they wonder if it is true or not.
You in the web movie of the year plus $1000 in your pocket. What actress trying to make a break wouldn't want to be in this move. This movie is a break plus $1000.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
Then I release this movie on the Internet and everyone has to see it. What a zany story. Is it true? Does she really get naked? I gotta see that movie.
Internet hype at work.
I intend to use youtube and other free video hosting. youtube will not be used to due nude content. But this is meant to be an actual film to release to film festivals.
I will submit to the Cannes film festival. They almost certainly won't accept it though. Fucking French. Maybe it will get on CBC because it is Canadian content.
So the duties the girl must perform:
have web cam. Get high. Make movie with me from script listed below including the nudity from both parts of the script. Sign release forms for video content.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
______________________________________
Script for movie: How much does a cleaner cost?
<>
VOICE OVER
It was such a beautiful night. I wish I had recorded it to share with others online. The next best thing I could do is buy a girl to make a video representing that evening and share that with you.
scene enters in focus of a man staring a a computer screen.
On screen an instant message appears saying "ok for $200 I'll do it. I'm coming now."
John: another fly enters the trap.
Girl: hey how's it going tonight.
John: Good. Come in. Did you get over alright?
Girl: Ya. So is this your place? It's big. Your the only one to live here?
John: Ya. I only bother to get the second house plowed. Why bother plowing two houses. Come on in. You want something to eat drink? You want some weed?
Girl: No thanks. You own both houses?
__________________
At this point I decided no intoxication level would make her fuckable
So I just decided to go on a great trip.
__________________
John: Ya.
Girl: Why?
John: Well, why not two houses. I want the land. Valuable land.
Girl: How much?
Jonh: 25 acres
Girl: Wow
John: OK I'm just gonna do a hit on the bong. OK?
Girl: Sure
John: This is great chicken. You want some? A coke? Pepsi?
Girl: I'll have a coke. Where you grow up?
John: Toronto. You?
Girl: Toronto too. I'm surprised I don't recognize you. It's not a big city. What high school?
John: Martingrove. You?
Girl: I went to Martingrove too.
John: Oh. What year you graduate?
Girl: Well I only went until 1996.
John: You graduated in 1996?
Girl: No I didn't Graduate.
John: Oh right, what grade in 96?
Girl: grade 9.
John: Oh you only went to grade 9. OK. Ya we would have been the same year. I...really don't remember you.
Girl: Ya, I don't know you either. Whoow. I wouldn't want to remember. The whole animosity thing.
John: Ya, I know. NO. You know what I WISH I knew you. Because isn't this the ultimate high school revenge. You were some bitch girl who wouldn't give me two words to say hi. And now I'm rich and have a good job and pay you to have sex. I did better than you after high school. HA! I won. You have to have sex with me because I gave you money. Take that for not going to the movies with me bitch.
Girl: Wow.
John: Oh I'm just kidding with you.
Girl: OK
John: So wait. Could. Could I pay you just to record me talking to you?
Girl: What? Record no!
John: OK OK calm down. I just wanted to pay you to take recordings of me talking. It's OK you don't have to.
Girl: OK good. No recordings at all.
John: Think I'm good looking
Girl: Ya.
John: So for your first time with a client, are you freaking out yet?
Girl: I'm not freaking out.
John: But you're nervious?
Girl: Ya a little.
John: So I'm your first time with a client.
Girl: Ya first time.
John: And you actually expect me to believe that?
Girl: Yes.
John: Well. I'm taking something important. Something new. That is valuable. And your nervous about that?
Girl: Ya
John: I like that you're a little nervous. First you gave me high school revenge but now you're scared too. Alright. And so on top of that your freaking out...man
Girl: ya
John: Did I start freaking you when I talked about high school revenge?
Girl: No
John: Stand up and take off your clothes
John: turn
John: Come here.
John: You gonna suck me?
Girl: I said I don't do that.
John: Even with a condom?
Girl: No.
John: OK but I'll fuck you.
Girl: Ya. OK
John: How about I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Oh, not tonight
John: I got KY
Girl: Oh, we can do that another night but I'm not in the right mental state.
John: OK so another night I can fuck your ass then.
Girl: Yes. But a bit extra.
John: How much.
Girl: An extra 50 bucks.
John: OK. So why do you think I called you here?
Girl: Hun?
John: What do you think was my intention when I called you here tonight.
Girl: Well, look. If that's the break point than I'll just leave right now. I will do it another night though.
John: That's the break point.
Girl. Ya.
John: Anal sex right now is break point.
Girl: Yes.
John: OK.
John: I'll tell why I called you here tonight.
John: I want you to clean my kitchen.
Girl: UH?
John: Ya I don't feel like cleaning it myself.
Girl: Oh there is water on the ground.
John: Ya why don't you put your clothes back on.
Girl: So what do you want?
John: Clean the kitchen.
Girl: well what. I don't do dishes?
John: what? OK take these boxes to the garage.
Girl: What?
John: Ya. OK. Just take some of the boxes to the garage.
Girl: You want me to be your maid.
John: Ya.
Girl: No serious.
John: I'm serious. I called you in here to be my maid.
Girl: Ha funny.
John: I'm very serious. I called you to be a maid for me tonight.
Girl: Look I'm no body's maid hunny.
John: Oh it's beneath you eh?
Girl: That ya. Beneath me.
John: You agreed to anal sex earlier. But this is beneath you.
Girl: Well, I didn't say anal sex tonight.
John: But you said you would.
Girl: Ya, on a different night.
John: But oh. Being a maid is beneath you.
Girl: Well I said I don't do dishes. Dishes are just something I won't do.
John: You said you were open minded.
Girl: I am. But not about dishes.
John: Well then take a box to the garage.
Girl: No.
John: So this is the break point eh?
Girl: Hun?
John: This is what is too much? This is what you won't do. Maybe you should just go home.
Girl: I guess.
John: Well what if I fuck you in a maid uniform.
Girl: Ya you can do that.
John: But god damn you won't carry a box to the garage. Like I mean no service.
Girl: You should have called a maid service.
John: When I called you said you'd do anything. ANYTHING.
Girl: Ya. I thought you meant sex.
John: Lets get this straight. Me fucking you anally is fine for $200. But you won't even carry a box to the garage. You will let fat 60 year old guys fuck your ass but you won't carry a couple of boxes to the garage for me? Well I think you should really go. I guess your not a girl that will do anything.
Girl: Well I guess so. But you are my first time with a client. This is weird.
John: Well I'm really dissatisfied with tonight. I was expecting a girl that will do anything. Just go.
Girl: Well I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted.
[ girl really should have gotten money first ]
John: What should I give you for this?
Girl: Well how much I asked for $200.
John: This is ridiculous.
John: OK fine here. If I can find another girl I'll call you for a threesome. Or I'll call you for anal sex. Or I'll call you to come over and not sleep with me.
Girl: OK. Thanks.
The rest of the script is in part 2 of this post.
Looking for a girl to star in short student film - $1000
I will pay you $1000 to be in my short film.
You must be willing to sign over ownership of material to me.
You must have a webcam.
You must be able to film.
You must give me a copy of the web movie immediately and load it onto my computer.
Once I'm satisfied full movie is on my computer I pay you.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
This is an opportunity to make money and observe how viral marketing works.
I give you $1000. Internet hype starts with this email. You read it. It is a funny script and story so then you send it to a friend. Another friend sends. And so on.
Finally after hearing people talk about this email you decide you want to be the girl that does it.
You are in a web movie that viral marketing has hyped. It is your big break. It is certainly better than writing a DIGG song. People read the script and they wonder if it is true or not.
You in the web movie of the year plus $1000 in your pocket. What actress trying to make a break wouldn't want to be in this move. This movie is a break plus $1000.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
Then I release this movie on the Internet and everyone has to see it. What a zany story. Is it true? Does she really get naked? I gotta see that movie.
Internet hype at work.
I intend to use youtube and other free video hosting. youtube will not be used to due nude content. But this is meant to be an actual film to release to film festivals.
I will submit to the Cannes film festival. They almost certainly won't accept it though. Fucking French. Maybe it will get on CBC because it is Canadian content.
So the duties the girl must perform:
have web cam. Get high. Make movie with me from script listed below including the nudity from both parts of the script. Sign release forms for video content.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
______________________________________
___________________
You know that bitch is robbing my second house as I type.
______________________
After date msn chatter:
Noam says:
hey
Noam says:
how are you doing?
kathrine says:
im good u
Noam says:
Did you have a good time?
kathrine says:
yes did u
Noam says:
Can we do that again?
Noam says:
You so did it for me.
Noam says:
Do you know what I wanted?
kathrine says:
if you like yes
Noam says:
Do you get it?
kathrine says:
get what
Noam says:
What did I want you to do?
kathrine says:
clean you house
kathrine says:
lol
Noam says:
NO
Noam says:
I wanted to act weird to freak you out
Noam says:
you thought I wanted sex
Noam says:
but NO
Noam says:
then you thought I wanted you to clean
Noam says:
but NO
Noam says:
I wanted to freak you out.
kathrine says:
and thats it
Noam says:
that was what you gave me.
Noam says:
It was beautiful.
kathrine says:
oh ok
Noam says:
Did I give you enough money?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
So you'd be willing to do it again?
Noam says:
but next time I want you to get high with me.
kathrine says:
what we tonight yes
Noam says:
So I'll be paying you to just get high with me.
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
I will give you $200 if you come over, get high and leave.
Noam says:
Will you do that?
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
Ok, you get high and get nakes then leave
Noam says:
ok?
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
was I a creep?
Noam says:
was a good looking?
kathrine says:
no
kathrine says:
yes you were
Noam says:
In pretty good shape eh?
kathrine says:
but i have to go to sleep i have school in the morning
kathrine says:
yes you are
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
So We'll get you me and another next time
Noam says:
And I'll actually fuck you
Noam says:
and you and the other girl can play.
Noam says:
and I'll give you more money
Noam says:
but I have one condition
Noam says:
know what it is?
kathrine says:
what
Noam says:
the money I give you must be called grocery money
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
I love the convenience. Order a girl
Noam says:
she comes
Noam says:
does what you want and leaves
Noam says:
but seriously, pretty easy money off me no?
Noam says:
I'm sure I must have been much easier than your other clients
Noam says:
right?
kathrine says:
your my fist
Noam says:
ya, I'm sure you say that to every guy.
Noam says:
so we'll do one of two things next time
Noam says:
either we get another girl
Noam says:
or you come over
Noam says:
get high
Noam says:
naked
Noam says:
and I fuck you
kathrine says:
im not sure about the ather girl
Noam says:
I'll find the other girl
Noam says:
but if you can find one even better
Noam says:
but tonight was easy eh?
Noam says:
You just came over and I gave you money right?
Noam says:
Like, Other guys will phone you to fuck you in your ass, And they will be ugly.
Noam says:
I just called you and gave you money.
Noam says:
wasn't it great?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
like. Your willing to do stuff to other girl and have anal sex with old men.
Noam says:
and I just had you other to talk, rant and not fuck you
kathrine says:
i never said that
Noam says:
I mean, why didn't I fuck you?
Noam says:
I paid you right?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
so if I paid than why didn't I fuck you?
Noam says:
do you know?
Noam says:
what was the reason?
kathrine says:
no i dont
Noam says:
I called you because I wanted you to think I was paying you for sex, pay you and NOT have sex. Then get you all confused.
Noam says:
were you confused?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
YES
Noam says:
Oh
Noam says:
and the whole you going to my high school was great
Noam says:
I was a dork in high school
Noam says:
and you were some stupid bitch who wouldn't go on a date with me.
Noam says:
And now I'm rich and I pay you to have sex with me.
kathrine says:
dont you ever call me that
Noam says:
But I'm so much better than you that I pay you and NOT have sex with you
Noam says:
You were a drop out and became a prostitute
Noam says:
Now I'm a rich programmer
Noam says:
I wIN
Noam says:
I WIN
Noam says:
YOU FAIL
Noam says:
YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL
Noam says:
Don't you see how beautiful it is
Noam says:
you were the girl who would date me
Noam says:
you were the girl who wouldn't date me
Noam says:
now your a prostitute and I pay you for sex because I'm all rich and brilliant
Noam says:
but I'm so good I don't even have sex with you.
Noam says:
so when can we book again?
Noam says:
I want to book you to not have sex.
Noam says:
How long did we go tonight?
Noam says:
I gace you $200
Noam says:
I gave you $200
Noam says:
How long did I get?
Noam says:
When can we see each other again?
kathrine says:
when ever
Noam says:
how long where you here?
Noam says:
I gave you $200 for how long?
kathrine says:
30 min
Noam says:
you were here for one and a half hours today
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
well
Noam says:
was it still an easy TRICK?
kathrine says:
what
Noam says:
was I worth your time?
kathrine says:
for my first it was
Noam says:
so now you can tell this story
Noam says:
how weird your first trick was
Noam says:
and how you went to high school with him
Noam says:
home town buddies
Noam says:
and he gets revenge sex
Noam says:
well worth $200
Noam says:
$200 for high school revenge sex?
Noam says:
EASY
Noam says:
I'll get you over all the time for high school revenge sex
Noam says:
Damn, I'd pay $1000 for high school revenge sex
Noam says:
but you giva me for $200
Noam says:
wouldn't you say $200 is a bargen for high school revenge sex.
Noam says:
I got the high school revenge
Noam says:
did you like my house?
Noam says:
did you like my house?
kathrine says:
its nice needs alot off work
Noam says:
but big eh?
Noam says:
fucking big eh?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
ya
Noam says:
now I'm a rich software programmer
Noam says:
and I own a big house
Noam says:
and your a prostitute
Noam says:
YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL
Noam says:
and I buy you for $200
Noam says:
so Can you come over Thursday?
kathrine says:
will c
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
I'll make you say "I went to high school with you. I am bitchy and wouldn't date you. now you are successful and I fail as a prostitute."
Very quotable "I went to high school with you. I am bitchy and wouldn't date you. now you are successful and I fail as a prostitute."
____________
Noam says:
"I FAILI FAILI FAILI FAILI FAILI FAIL"
kathrine says:
well im off to bed i have school in the morning
Noam says:
I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL
Noam says:
high school
Noam says:
which you failed
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
see
Noam says:
all those times they tell you work hard in high school guy. Guys who work hard in high school will get the girls in the end
Noam says:
cuz girls like money
Noam says:
so just forget the girls who won't date you know.
Noam says:
cuz when you got money they will want you,
Noam says:
and now I do
Noam says:
perfect story
Noam says:
you you the high school girl who won't date me now a prostitute.
Noam says:
I'm going to buy you a cell phone
Noam says:
pay for it
Noam says:
and give you money just so that I can call you and say you're a prostitute and you didn't hard and didn't get ahead
Noam says:
and give you money just so that I can call you and say you're a prostitute and didn't work hard and wished she had dated me.
Noam says:
cuz then you'd have a rich guy
Noam says:
SO BOOM BITCH!
Noam says:
I'm going to give you money to be available
Noam says:
I will pay you just to be available.
Noam says:
for me to call you up
Noam says:
so I can fuck you
Noam says:
think we could arrange that?
Noam says:
how much would that availability cost me?
Noam says:
would it cost me $1000?
Noam says:
or more?
kathrine says:
more
Noam says:
just for the availability?
Noam says:
how much more?
Noam says:
this is just so you are available when I call.
Noam says:
and I'll pay you more when you actually come over
kathrine says:
Just email me and I'll make sure I'm on. kathrine1349 at gmail.com
Noam says:
hey
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
want to make more money tonight?
Noam says:
you wana make more money tonight?
kathrine says:
cant
Noam says:
you just gotta come over
Noam says:
you can stay for just 30 minutes
Noam says:
but you wana make some money tonight?
Noam says:
I'll pay more for tonight
Noam says:
You will basically coming over to pick up money
Noam says:
want money?
Noam says:
money money money
Noam says:
MONEY!
Noam says:
who wants money?
Noam says:
I'll give you money tonight
Noam says:
want money tonight baby?
Noam says:
I'll give it to you
Noam says:
More more more
Noam says:
your still online
Noam says:
come on make more money tonight
kathrine says:
yes
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
but money
kathrine says:
good not
kathrine says:
have a good night i gotta sleep
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
but I'll givr you more money soon right?
kathrine says:
k
Noam says:
I have to call a different girl to give money to
_______________________________
I am seen running half dressed through snow in middle of night. The snow is up to my knees. I am laughing with joy.
No one will ever know why I had to run thought snow to get to phone.
Conversation with escort agency.
John in monotone voice: I need a girl who is available now and will get high with me. I give address. It would be better if she was 28, went to Martingrove and failed out of high school.
Escort agency calls back and tells me due to location there will be an additional $15 fee.
I proceed to scream at escort agency for calling back.
John: IS THIS YOU FIRST DAY ON THE JOB? YOU DON'T CALL BACK A LINE. WHAT IF MY WIFE HAD PICKED UP. THE FIRST THING THEY TEACH YOU AT ESCORT SCHOOL IS NOT TO CALL BACK.
John: How long have you been at the job?
Escort Agent: A couple of weeks.
John: Ah yes, new. How'd you get into the business?
Escort Agent: Oh it was my moms agency. I'm taking over the family business now.
John: Oh how sweet well send the girl over. Bye.
<>
Girl: hey how's it going?
John: Great. Glad you could make it. So you understand certain things are expected of you right?
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice.
John: Ya, but you are going to get high tonight with me right?
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice. Can I have the $165 up from please?
John: What? No. I specifically asked for a girl that would get high with me.
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice. But give me the money first
John: NO. I specifically told the agency I wanted a girl that will get high with me. Specifically, I wanted a girl to get high with. So if you don't get high with me there is no point to the evening.
Very frustrated Girl: Look. Just because you're not paying me to get high with you doesn't mean I won't. But I will choose to. I won't be under any contractual obligation to smoke dope with you.
John: I can't believe you said contractual. But I have you here to get high with me. If you won't do that then just go.
Girl: YES. I'm getting high with you.
John: So you'll get high with me?
Girl: Yes we'll get high, but you can't pay me to get high with you. That's illegal.
John: Actually, I don't think it is. It would be illegal if I paid you to have sex with me though. But anyways...
John: WHOAW! Hold on. We don't get naked yet. We do that later. We haven't even gotten high yet. Get those clothes back on.
Girl: OH. OK.
John: I'm sorry I don't have change. I only got $163. Is that OK?
Girl: Ya that's fine.
John: Oh wait. I'm sorry I only have $160. Is that OK?
Girl: For five dollars? Fuck yes fine.
John: Oh OK. Here is $170. Give the driver five dollars. The driver is always so under appreciated. But I bet that driver has some great stories. Wouldn't that make a good movie? A movie about an escort driver.
Girl: OK thanks.
John: Let go get high
Girl: OK
John: Hey did you grow up around here?
Girl: Sure ya.
John: Did you say Sir Yes?
Girl: What?
John: Never mind, obscure reference. Arcot got it. So what high school did you do to?
Girl: Carleton.
John: Damn, not KCVI?
Girl: No
John: This skit isn't going to go as well without that joke. Oh well, press on.
Girl: Hun?
John: Don't worry everyone else gets it. Ya so would you be willing to record conversations of us talking? I'd pay you to do that.
Girl: HUN!? NO. I'm not doing that.
John: OK, OK. Don't worry about it.
Girl: Why you want to record me?
John: I just want to record you and I talking. Not doing anything just to record the conversation. No more to it
Girl:No way. No. I gotta call my driver
John: Why you gotta call your driver?
Girl: To give him the money?
John: What? Oh OK.
<>
John: Wait wait wait. You're not going to leave are you? You're going to stay for the hour yes?
Girl: Yes I will stay. I just want the driver to have the money first.
John: OK fine
John: OK, as long as you stay. So you gonna suck me?
Girl: You have to have a condom on first.
John: OK I got a condom. You'll suck me now?
Girl: Ya fine. Just get the condom on.
John: So you'll fuck me?
Girl: Let me give the driver the money first.
John: What no. I paid for the hour. I want to fuck you right now. I don't want to wait for the stupid driver and have to stop. It's a time waster for the stupid driver.
<>
Girl: Well the driver is coming. I don't want the driver to see me naked.
Johns internal voice: If she runs I'll complain to the agency she ran without doing anything and they will give me a different girl. So even if she runs I'm fine.
John: Ya, OK makes sense.
Girl: Well are you going to put the condom on?
John: Hun?
Girl: I'm not blowing you until you put the condom on.
John: Oh we'll wait for the driver first.
Girl: WHAT? You were telling me to hurry about your time a second ago. And now you say wait.
John: Ya don't worry about it. We'll wait. I don't want to start and stop.
Girl: Oh. OK.
<>
John: OK, now that you've paid the driver. Can I fuck you?
Girl: Yes.
John: Get on your stomach.
<>
John: So you suck me now?
Girl: Yes.
John: So I fuck you now?
Girl: Yes.
John: Stand up and get naked.
<>
John: So will you suck me without a condom?
Girl: Well, it will cost more.
John: How much?
Girl: $300.
John: Wow, steep. But I like it. OK, I'm just going to fuck you with a condom OK?
Girl: Ya, OK. Do that. Fuck me now.
<>
John: What about me fucking you without a condom.
Girl: $500.
John: Very nice. How much to fuck your ass right now?
Girl: Right now?
John: Ya, right now.
Girl: $1000.
John: So for $1000 you will let me fuck your ass hard?
Girl: Yes
John: Funny how the number 1000 keeps popping up. OK. So I've already given you $170.
Girl: No you gave me $166.
John: Right, OK so if I give you $1000 total I would be giving you 1000 subtract 163 so I would give you $837. $837 for anal sex.
Girl: No, you give me $1000
John: Yes, so I give you one thousand total. Yes? So $837 more for anal.
Girl: No you give me a flat $1000.
John: OK so 1000 and 163 together are $1237? I'll give you total $1237 tonight?
Girl: No $1000 total.
John: You just missed a better deal. Too bad your too high to do math.
Girl: Hun?
John: Nothing. OK $1000 and I'm fucking your ass right now?
Girl: Ya.
John: OK how much to fuck you in the ass with no condom?
Girl: No. Not that. No amount of money to do that.
John: You're sure, there is no amount to temp you?
Girl: No, not for that. But with a condom it's $1000.
John: OK. Why do you think I brought you here tonight?
Girl: I have no idea. You are kinda weirding me out.
John: Exactly. Come with me into the kitchen.
Girl: What? No. Do you have recorders in there or something. Actually I want to move to that room there. I think you are recording me. I'm not going in the Kitchen
John: You can put your clothes back on. But come into the kitchen.
Girl: What. Clothes back on? Well OK.
<>
John: I had you come here to clean my kitchen.
Girl: What, are you serious?
John: Yes, I called you to clean my kitchen. Will you do that?
Girl: Just clean the kitchen. With my clothes on?
John: Well, for you it would be better to keep your clothes off. Other people it was better for their clothes to be on. But you can put them on if you want. Start by moving those boxes into the garage. Oh. Do you do dishes?
Girl: Ya, OK.
John: That's great. A lot of girls won't do anal. I mean dishes. I had a bad experience. I asked the agency for an open minded girl. Open minded girls like to do dishes right?
Girl: You are really weirding me out.
John: Exactly.
<>
John: Oh I don't want you to do the dishes. I wanted to see if you WOULD do the dishes. Besides I don't want your fingers touching something I'd eat off of.
Girl: Ya, I said I would do the dishes. Let me do them for you.
John: You missed the point. I don't want you doing dishes. I wanted to see if you would do dishes. Move the boxes. Put them all in the big box.
<>
Girl: You know this is really weird. No one asks to have me clean.
John: Would you rather I asked you to fuck me?
Girl: No. I'd much rather be cleaning than sucking your cock.
John: WHAT!? You saying I'm not attractive? Don't you think I'm a good looking guy?
Girl: No, no. You have a beautiful cock and I want to suck it. But it's not you. I'd rather be cleaning than sucking anyone's cock.
John: First, you haven't even seen me naked so you have no idea if it is beautiful. But it is. Second, you would make a terrible wife.
Girl: I'm not your wife. Why am I doing this. You're really weirding me out.
John: See. That is the thing I wanted from you. I didn't want to fuck you. I wanted to weird you out. And now you have given me that thing.
Girl: What are you talking about. You're like a crazy serial killer talking.
<>
John: Do I look like a serial killer?
Girl: Well you act weird like one.
John: Do you think I'm good looking?
Girl: Yes. But you're really weird.
John: Am I better looking than a typical guy you get.
Girl: YES. But you are the weirdest guy I've ever had. Your good looks don't compensate for the weirdness.
John: OK. But suppose I was a serial killer. Just suppose OK?
Girl: Please don't call yourself a serial killer.
John: OK. But suppose I was a serial killer. In this case, I am a serial killer.
Girl: Please stop saying that.
John: OK so why would me as a serial killer kill you right now? Your driver knows you're in here. I won't get away with it.
Girl: Ya, he'd kill you and we'd both be dead.
John: But me as an intelligent agent would not set up a scheme of killing someone where I myself die.
Girl: Ya. But I'm dead too.
John: Did I mention I write code N. Kasabov would be proud of?
Girl: What?
John: So what I'm saying is I wouldn't kill you in this way. I'd kill you in a way that doesn't end up with me caught or dead.
Girl: You are scaring me.
John: So how does this trick compare to others? Is it easier?
Girl: Well. I'm scared I'm going to end up dead.
John: But isn't it easier than most tricks. You're not fucking a bald 60 year old.
Girl: Well. Yes it is easy but I'm scared I'm going to end up dead.
John: But if you don't end up dead you will have said this was an easy trick?
Girl: Ya. I walk out of here alive this will have been a great trick.
John: Just as long as I don't kill you right?
Girl: Ya. Outside that great trick.
John: Would you recommend me to your friend?
Girl: Oh ya. Tricks like this. You will get the best girl only do happy to do a trick like this.
John: So you'll recommend me to the agency and your friends?
Girl: Oh yes. You'll get best girls for this gig.
John: But only if I don't kill them right?
Girl: Ya. Don't kill them
John: OK. So it makes even less sense for me to kill you.
Girl: What?
John: If I kill you, you won't tell other girls to come. So I have an incentive to not kill you. Then the other girls will get a good job as long as I don't kill them.
Girl: Ummm, yes. Oh. Hey. You got whiskey. Can I have some.
John: You want whiskey? Go ahead. I'd like to get you drunk.
Girl: Sounds nice.
John: Get drunk and I can take advantage of you.
Girl: You want to do that?
John: If I did wouldn't I have fucked you earlier? Think about it. Why bother getting you drunk. You would have fucked me earlier anyways. If I wanted to take advantage of you I'd have fucked you earlier wouldn't I?
Girl: I...don't know.
John: No. Actually I called you in tonight to not have sex with you.
Girl: What?
John: I wanted to pay you to not have sex with me.
Girl: So, you're like a philanthropist.
John: A very queer philanthropist I'd be. Finding out how much it would cost to fuck a girl in the ass then giving her money for nothing.
Girl: Ya I guess.
John: No. I just wanted you to be willing to fuck me and then not fuck me. Its a narcissist thing. You are willing to let me fuck your ass, then I chose not to.
Girl: It's not a narcissist thing. I would do it for money. Not because you are great.
John: I don't care about your motivations, it is your intension of fucking me I care about.
Girl: But it is for money so you are not achieving anything.
John: Yes. It is a power through money thing. I control you.
Girl: No you don't.
John: I gave you money and you were willing to fuck me. I'm a certain sense I did control you. But anyways ya that is me. So having fun tonight?
Girl: I guess ya.
John: Willing to do another night like this?
Girl: Well. As long as I get out alive. Can I used the washroom?
John: Ya sure
<>
John: Ya great. I think your driver is here now.
<>
John: So we'll do it again some night?
Girl: If you don't kill me.
John: Are you freaking out?
Girl: Yes.
John: Great. I'll tell the agency you were great tonight. Wonderful time with you. Really.
<>
John: I'll book again for Alison.
To:
sweetescorts1349 at gmail.com
subject:
Alison was great.
body:
I just wanted to write you a thank you email. Alison was great tonight. Couldn't have gotten a better service.
The only thing I wish is that she had a little better sense of humor. She didn't really want to laugh much. I like to have a girl who wants to laugh and be silly.
Besides that she was great. I hope she tells the agency I am a good customer and to send me good girls who are eager.
Thanks again. Look forward to continues business.
Response to email pending.
I want to get this movie made. Send a link to this blog article out to your friends and it will help me to find a girl willing to make this movie with.
If anyone knows a girl in film school they should be targeted.
http://www.digg.com/arts_culture/Looking_for_a_girl_to_star_in_short_student_film_1000
Digg this article up folks.
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/571414807.html
http://toronto.craigslist.ca/tor/ers/571413485.html
I will pay you $1000 to be in my short film.
You must be willing to sign over ownership of material to me.
You must have a webcam.
You must be able to film.
You must give me a copy of the web movie immediately and load it onto my computer.
Once I'm satisfied full movie is on my computer I pay you.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
This is an opportunity to make money and observe how viral marketing works.
I give you $1000. Internet hype starts with this email. You read it. It is a funny script and story so then you send it to a friend. Another friend sends. And so on.
Finally after hearing people talk about this email you decide you want to be the girl that does it.
You are in a web movie that viral marketing has hyped. It is your big break. It is certainly better than writing a DIGG song. People read the script and they wonder if it is true or not.
You in the web movie of the year plus $1000 in your pocket. What actress trying to make a break wouldn't want to be in this move. This movie is a break plus $1000.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
Then I release this movie on the Internet and everyone has to see it. What a zany story. Is it true? Does she really get naked? I gotta see that movie.
Internet hype at work.
I intend to use youtube and other free video hosting. youtube will not be used to due nude content. But this is meant to be an actual film to release to film festivals.
I will submit to the Cannes film festival. They almost certainly won't accept it though. Fucking French. Maybe it will get on CBC because it is Canadian content.
So the duties the girl must perform:
have web cam. Get high. Make movie with me from script listed below including the nudity from both parts of the script. Sign release forms for video content.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
______________________________
Script for movie: How much does a cleaner cost?
<>
VOICE OVER
It was such a beautiful night. I wish I had recorded it to share with others online. The next best thing I could do is buy a girl to make a video representing that evening and share that with you.
scene enters in focus of a man staring a a computer screen.
On screen an instant message appears saying "ok for $200 I'll do it. I'm coming now."
John: another fly enters the trap.
Girl: hey how's it going tonight.
John: Good. Come in. Did you get over alright?
Girl: Ya. So is this your place? It's big. Your the only one to live here?
John: Ya. I only bother to get the second house plowed. Why bother plowing two houses. Come on in. You want something to eat drink? You want some weed?
Girl: No thanks. You own both houses?
__________________
At this point I decided no intoxication level would make her fuckable
So I just decided to go on a great trip.
__________________
John: Ya.
Girl: Why?
John: Well, why not two houses. I want the land. Valuable land.
Girl: How much?
Jonh: 25 acres
Girl: Wow
John: OK I'm just gonna do a hit on the bong. OK?
Girl: Sure
John: This is great chicken. You want some? A coke? Pepsi?
Girl: I'll have a coke. Where you grow up?
John: Toronto. You?
Girl: Toronto too. I'm surprised I don't recognize you. It's not a big city. What high school?
John: Martingrove. You?
Girl: I went to Martingrove too.
John: Oh. What year you graduate?
Girl: Well I only went until 1996.
John: You graduated in 1996?
Girl: No I didn't Graduate.
John: Oh right, what grade in 96?
Girl: grade 9.
John: Oh you only went to grade 9. OK. Ya we would have been the same year. I...really don't remember you.
Girl: Ya, I don't know you either. Whoow. I wouldn't want to remember. The whole animosity thing.
John: Ya, I know. NO. You know what I WISH I knew you. Because isn't this the ultimate high school revenge. You were some bitch girl who wouldn't give me two words to say hi. And now I'm rich and have a good job and pay you to have sex. I did better than you after high school. HA! I won. You have to have sex with me because I gave you money. Take that for not going to the movies with me bitch.
Girl: Wow.
John: Oh I'm just kidding with you.
Girl: OK
John: So wait. Could. Could I pay you just to record me talking to you?
Girl: What? Record no!
John: OK OK calm down. I just wanted to pay you to take recordings of me talking. It's OK you don't have to.
Girl: OK good. No recordings at all.
John: Think I'm good looking
Girl: Ya.
John: So for your first time with a client, are you freaking out yet?
Girl: I'm not freaking out.
John: But you're nervious?
Girl: Ya a little.
John: So I'm your first time with a client.
Girl: Ya first time.
John: And you actually expect me to believe that?
Girl: Yes.
John: Well. I'm taking something important. Something new. That is valuable. And your nervous about that?
Girl: Ya
John: I like that you're a little nervous. First you gave me high school revenge but now you're scared too. Alright. And so on top of that your freaking out...man
Girl: ya
John: Did I start freaking you when I talked about high school revenge?
Girl: No
John: Stand up and take off your clothes
John: turn
John: Come here.
John: You gonna suck me?
Girl: I said I don't do that.
John: Even with a condom?
Girl: No.
John: OK but I'll fuck you.
Girl: Ya. OK
John: How about I fuck you in the ass.
Girl: Oh, not tonight
John: I got KY
Girl: Oh, we can do that another night but I'm not in the right mental state.
John: OK so another night I can fuck your ass then.
Girl: Yes. But a bit extra.
John: How much.
Girl: An extra 50 bucks.
John: OK. So why do you think I called you here?
Girl: Hun?
John: What do you think was my intention when I called you here tonight.
Girl: Well, look. If that's the break point than I'll just leave right now. I will do it another night though.
John: That's the break point.
Girl. Ya.
John: Anal sex right now is break point.
Girl: Yes.
John: OK.
John: I'll tell why I called you here tonight.
John: I want you to clean my kitchen.
Girl: UH?
John: Ya I don't feel like cleaning it myself.
Girl: Oh there is water on the ground.
John: Ya why don't you put your clothes back on.
Girl: So what do you want?
John: Clean the kitchen.
Girl: well what. I don't do dishes?
John: what? OK take these boxes to the garage.
Girl: What?
John: Ya. OK. Just take some of the boxes to the garage.
Girl: You want me to be your maid.
John: Ya.
Girl: No serious.
John: I'm serious. I called you in here to be my maid.
Girl: Ha funny.
John: I'm very serious. I called you to be a maid for me tonight.
Girl: Look I'm no body's maid hunny.
John: Oh it's beneath you eh?
Girl: That ya. Beneath me.
John: You agreed to anal sex earlier. But this is beneath you.
Girl: Well, I didn't say anal sex tonight.
John: But you said you would.
Girl: Ya, on a different night.
John: But oh. Being a maid is beneath you.
Girl: Well I said I don't do dishes. Dishes are just something I won't do.
John: You said you were open minded.
Girl: I am. But not about dishes.
John: Well then take a box to the garage.
Girl: No.
John: So this is the break point eh?
Girl: Hun?
John: This is what is too much? This is what you won't do. Maybe you should just go home.
Girl: I guess.
John: Well what if I fuck you in a maid uniform.
Girl: Ya you can do that.
John: But god damn you won't carry a box to the garage. Like I mean no service.
Girl: You should have called a maid service.
John: When I called you said you'd do anything. ANYTHING.
Girl: Ya. I thought you meant sex.
John: Lets get this straight. Me fucking you anally is fine for $200. But you won't even carry a box to the garage. You will let fat 60 year old guys fuck your ass but you won't carry a couple of boxes to the garage for me? Well I think you should really go. I guess your not a girl that will do anything.
Girl: Well I guess so. But you are my first time with a client. This is weird.
John: Well I'm really dissatisfied with tonight. I was expecting a girl that will do anything. Just go.
Girl: Well I'm sorry you didn't get what you wanted.
[ girl really should have gotten money first ]
John: What should I give you for this?
Girl: Well how much I asked for $200.
John: This is ridiculous.
John: OK fine here. If I can find another girl I'll call you for a threesome. Or I'll call you for anal sex. Or I'll call you to come over and not sleep with me.
Girl: OK. Thanks.
The rest of the script is in part 2 of this post.
Looking for a girl to star in short student film - $1000
I will pay you $1000 to be in my short film.
You must be willing to sign over ownership of material to me.
You must have a webcam.
You must be able to film.
You must give me a copy of the web movie immediately and load it onto my computer.
Once I'm satisfied full movie is on my computer I pay you.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
This is an opportunity to make money and observe how viral marketing works.
I give you $1000. Internet hype starts with this email. You read it. It is a funny script and story so then you send it to a friend. Another friend sends. And so on.
Finally after hearing people talk about this email you decide you want to be the girl that does it.
You are in a web movie that viral marketing has hyped. It is your big break. It is certainly better than writing a DIGG song. People read the script and they wonder if it is true or not.
You in the web movie of the year plus $1000 in your pocket. What actress trying to make a break wouldn't want to be in this move. This movie is a break plus $1000.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
Then I release this movie on the Internet and everyone has to see it. What a zany story. Is it true? Does she really get naked? I gotta see that movie.
Internet hype at work.
I intend to use youtube and other free video hosting. youtube will not be used to due nude content. But this is meant to be an actual film to release to film festivals.
I will submit to the Cannes film festival. They almost certainly won't accept it though. Fucking French. Maybe it will get on CBC because it is Canadian content.
So the duties the girl must perform:
have web cam. Get high. Make movie with me from script listed below including the nudity from both parts of the script. Sign release forms for video content.
contact me at BigJohn1349 at gmail.com
YOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAILYOU FAIL
______________________________
___________________
You know that bitch is robbing my second house as I type.
______________________
After date msn chatter:
Noam says:
hey
Noam says:
how are you doing?
kathrine says:
im good u
Noam says:
Did you have a good time?
kathrine says:
yes did u
Noam says:
Can we do that again?
Noam says:
You so did it for me.
Noam says:
Do you know what I wanted?
kathrine says:
if you like yes
Noam says:
Do you get it?
kathrine says:
get what
Noam says:
What did I want you to do?
kathrine says:
clean you house
kathrine says:
lol
Noam says:
NO
Noam says:
I wanted to act weird to freak you out
Noam says:
you thought I wanted sex
Noam says:
but NO
Noam says:
then you thought I wanted you to clean
Noam says:
but NO
Noam says:
I wanted to freak you out.
kathrine says:
and thats it
Noam says:
that was what you gave me.
Noam says:
It was beautiful.
kathrine says:
oh ok
Noam says:
Did I give you enough money?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
So you'd be willing to do it again?
Noam says:
but next time I want you to get high with me.
kathrine says:
what we tonight yes
Noam says:
So I'll be paying you to just get high with me.
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
I will give you $200 if you come over, get high and leave.
Noam says:
Will you do that?
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
Ok, you get high and get nakes then leave
Noam says:
ok?
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
was I a creep?
Noam says:
was a good looking?
kathrine says:
no
kathrine says:
yes you were
Noam says:
In pretty good shape eh?
kathrine says:
but i have to go to sleep i have school in the morning
kathrine says:
yes you are
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
So We'll get you me and another next time
Noam says:
And I'll actually fuck you
Noam says:
and you and the other girl can play.
Noam says:
and I'll give you more money
Noam says:
but I have one condition
Noam says:
know what it is?
kathrine says:
what
Noam says:
the money I give you must be called grocery money
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
I love the convenience. Order a girl
Noam says:
she comes
Noam says:
does what you want and leaves
Noam says:
but seriously, pretty easy money off me no?
Noam says:
I'm sure I must have been much easier than your other clients
Noam says:
right?
kathrine says:
your my fist
Noam says:
ya, I'm sure you say that to every guy.
Noam says:
so we'll do one of two things next time
Noam says:
either we get another girl
Noam says:
or you come over
Noam says:
get high
Noam says:
naked
Noam says:
and I fuck you
kathrine says:
im not sure about the ather girl
Noam says:
I'll find the other girl
Noam says:
but if you can find one even better
Noam says:
but tonight was easy eh?
Noam says:
You just came over and I gave you money right?
Noam says:
Like, Other guys will phone you to fuck you in your ass, And they will be ugly.
Noam says:
I just called you and gave you money.
Noam says:
wasn't it great?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
like. Your willing to do stuff to other girl and have anal sex with old men.
Noam says:
and I just had you other to talk, rant and not fuck you
kathrine says:
i never said that
Noam says:
I mean, why didn't I fuck you?
Noam says:
I paid you right?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
so if I paid than why didn't I fuck you?
Noam says:
do you know?
Noam says:
what was the reason?
kathrine says:
no i dont
Noam says:
I called you because I wanted you to think I was paying you for sex, pay you and NOT have sex. Then get you all confused.
Noam says:
were you confused?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
YES
Noam says:
Oh
Noam says:
and the whole you going to my high school was great
Noam says:
I was a dork in high school
Noam says:
and you were some stupid bitch who wouldn't go on a date with me.
Noam says:
And now I'm rich and I pay you to have sex with me.
kathrine says:
dont you ever call me that
Noam says:
But I'm so much better than you that I pay you and NOT have sex with you
Noam says:
You were a drop out and became a prostitute
Noam says:
Now I'm a rich programmer
Noam says:
I wIN
Noam says:
I WIN
Noam says:
YOU FAIL
Noam says:
YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL
Noam says:
Don't you see how beautiful it is
Noam says:
you were the girl who would date me
Noam says:
you were the girl who wouldn't date me
Noam says:
now your a prostitute and I pay you for sex because I'm all rich and brilliant
Noam says:
but I'm so good I don't even have sex with you.
Noam says:
so when can we book again?
Noam says:
I want to book you to not have sex.
Noam says:
How long did we go tonight?
Noam says:
I gace you $200
Noam says:
I gave you $200
Noam says:
How long did I get?
Noam says:
When can we see each other again?
kathrine says:
when ever
Noam says:
how long where you here?
Noam says:
I gave you $200 for how long?
kathrine says:
30 min
Noam says:
you were here for one and a half hours today
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
well
Noam says:
was it still an easy TRICK?
kathrine says:
what
Noam says:
was I worth your time?
kathrine says:
for my first it was
Noam says:
so now you can tell this story
Noam says:
how weird your first trick was
Noam says:
and how you went to high school with him
Noam says:
home town buddies
Noam says:
and he gets revenge sex
Noam says:
well worth $200
Noam says:
$200 for high school revenge sex?
Noam says:
EASY
Noam says:
I'll get you over all the time for high school revenge sex
Noam says:
Damn, I'd pay $1000 for high school revenge sex
Noam says:
but you giva me for $200
Noam says:
wouldn't you say $200 is a bargen for high school revenge sex.
Noam says:
I got the high school revenge
Noam says:
did you like my house?
Noam says:
did you like my house?
kathrine says:
its nice needs alot off work
Noam says:
but big eh?
Noam says:
fucking big eh?
kathrine says:
yes
Noam says:
ya
Noam says:
now I'm a rich software programmer
Noam says:
and I own a big house
Noam says:
and your a prostitute
Noam says:
YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL YOU FAIL
Noam says:
and I buy you for $200
Noam says:
so Can you come over Thursday?
kathrine says:
will c
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
I'll make you say "I went to high school with you. I am bitchy and wouldn't date you. now you are successful and I fail as a prostitute."
Very quotable "I went to high school with you. I am bitchy and wouldn't date you. now you are successful and I fail as a prostitute."
____________
Noam says:
"I FAILI FAILI FAILI FAILI FAILI FAIL"
kathrine says:
well im off to bed i have school in the morning
Noam says:
I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL I FAIL
Noam says:
high school
Noam says:
which you failed
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
see
Noam says:
all those times they tell you work hard in high school guy. Guys who work hard in high school will get the girls in the end
Noam says:
cuz girls like money
Noam says:
so just forget the girls who won't date you know.
Noam says:
cuz when you got money they will want you,
Noam says:
and now I do
Noam says:
perfect story
Noam says:
you you the high school girl who won't date me now a prostitute.
Noam says:
I'm going to buy you a cell phone
Noam says:
pay for it
Noam says:
and give you money just so that I can call you and say you're a prostitute and you didn't hard and didn't get ahead
Noam says:
and give you money just so that I can call you and say you're a prostitute and didn't work hard and wished she had dated me.
Noam says:
cuz then you'd have a rich guy
Noam says:
SO BOOM BITCH!
Noam says:
I'm going to give you money to be available
Noam says:
I will pay you just to be available.
Noam says:
for me to call you up
Noam says:
so I can fuck you
Noam says:
think we could arrange that?
Noam says:
how much would that availability cost me?
Noam says:
would it cost me $1000?
Noam says:
or more?
kathrine says:
more
Noam says:
just for the availability?
Noam says:
how much more?
Noam says:
this is just so you are available when I call.
Noam says:
and I'll pay you more when you actually come over
kathrine says:
Just email me and I'll make sure I'm on. kathrine1349 at gmail.com
Noam says:
hey
kathrine says:
ok
Noam says:
want to make more money tonight?
Noam says:
you wana make more money tonight?
kathrine says:
cant
Noam says:
you just gotta come over
Noam says:
you can stay for just 30 minutes
Noam says:
but you wana make some money tonight?
Noam says:
I'll pay more for tonight
Noam says:
You will basically coming over to pick up money
Noam says:
want money?
Noam says:
money money money
Noam says:
MONEY!
Noam says:
who wants money?
Noam says:
I'll give you money tonight
Noam says:
want money tonight baby?
Noam says:
I'll give it to you
Noam says:
More more more
Noam says:
your still online
Noam says:
come on make more money tonight
kathrine says:
yes
kathrine says:
no
Noam says:
but money
kathrine says:
good not
kathrine says:
have a good night i gotta sleep
Noam says:
ok
Noam says:
but I'll givr you more money soon right?
kathrine says:
k
Noam says:
I have to call a different girl to give money to
_______________________________
I am seen running half dressed through snow in middle of night. The snow is up to my knees. I am laughing with joy.
No one will ever know why I had to run thought snow to get to phone.
Conversation with escort agency.
John in monotone voice: I need a girl who is available now and will get high with me. I give address. It would be better if she was 28, went to Martingrove and failed out of high school.
Escort agency calls back and tells me due to location there will be an additional $15 fee.
I proceed to scream at escort agency for calling back.
John: IS THIS YOU FIRST DAY ON THE JOB? YOU DON'T CALL BACK A LINE. WHAT IF MY WIFE HAD PICKED UP. THE FIRST THING THEY TEACH YOU AT ESCORT SCHOOL IS NOT TO CALL BACK.
John: How long have you been at the job?
Escort Agent: A couple of weeks.
John: Ah yes, new. How'd you get into the business?
Escort Agent: Oh it was my moms agency. I'm taking over the family business now.
John: Oh how sweet well send the girl over. Bye.
<>
Girl: hey how's it going?
John: Great. Glad you could make it. So you understand certain things are expected of you right?
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice.
John: Ya, but you are going to get high tonight with me right?
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice. Can I have the $165 up from please?
John: What? No. I specifically asked for a girl that would get high with me.
Girl: Money exchanged is for companionship only and anything beyond that is a choice. But give me the money first
John: NO. I specifically told the agency I wanted a girl that will get high with me. Specifically, I wanted a girl to get high with. So if you don't get high with me there is no point to the evening.
Very frustrated Girl: Look. Just because you're not paying me to get high with you doesn't mean I won't. But I will choose to. I won't be under any contractual obligation to smoke dope with you.
John: I can't believe you said contractual. But I have you here to get high with me. If you won't do that then just go.
Girl: YES. I'm getting high with you.
John: So you'll get high with me?
Girl: Yes we'll get high, but you can't pay me to get high with you. That's illegal.
John: Actually, I don't think it is. It would be illegal if I paid you to have sex with me though. But anyways...
John: WHOAW! Hold on. We don't get naked yet. We do that later. We haven't even gotten high yet. Get those clothes back on.
Girl: OH. OK.
John: I'm sorry I don't have change. I only got $163. Is that OK?
Girl: Ya that's fine.
John: Oh wait. I'm sorry I only have $160. Is that OK?
Girl: For five dollars? Fuck yes fine.
John: Oh OK. Here is $170. Give the driver five dollars. The driver is always so under appreciated. But I bet that driver has some great stories. Wouldn't that make a good movie? A movie about an escort driver.
Girl: OK thanks.
John: Let go get high
Girl: OK
John: Hey did you grow up around here?
Girl: Sure ya.
John: Did you say Sir Yes?
Girl: What?
John: Never mind, obscure reference. Arcot got it. So what high school did you do to?
Girl: Carleton.
John: Damn, not KCVI?
Girl: No
John: This skit isn't going to go as well without that joke. Oh well, press on.
Girl: Hun?
John: Don't worry everyone else gets it. Ya so would you be willing to record conversations of us talking? I'd pay you to do that.
Girl: HUN!? NO. I'm not doing that.
John: OK, OK. Don't worry about it.
Girl: Why you want to record me?
John: I just want to record you and I talking. Not doing anything just to record the conversation. No more to it
Girl:No way. No. I gotta call my driver
John: Why you gotta call your driver?
Girl: To give him the money?
John: What? Oh OK.
<>
John: Wait wait wait. You're not going to leave are you? You're going to stay for the hour yes?
Girl: Yes I will stay. I just want the driver to have the money first.
John: OK fine
John: OK, as long as you stay. So you gonna suck me?
Girl: You have to have a condom on first.
John: OK I got a condom. You'll suck me now?
Girl: Ya fine. Just get the condom on.
John: So you'll fuck me?
Girl: Let me give the driver the money first.
John: What no. I paid for the hour. I want to fuck you right now. I don't want to wait for the stupid driver and have to stop. It's a time waster for the stupid driver.
<>
Girl: Well the driver is coming. I don't want the driver to see me naked.
Johns internal voice: If she runs I'll complain to the agency she ran without doing anything and they will give me a different girl. So even if she runs I'm fine.
John: Ya, OK makes sense.
Girl: Well are you going to put the condom on?
John: Hun?
Girl: I'm not blowing you until you put the condom on.
John: Oh we'll wait for the driver first.
Girl: WHAT? You were telling me to hurry about your time a second ago. And now you say wait.
John: Ya don't worry about it. We'll wait. I don't want to start and stop.
Girl: Oh. OK.
<>
John: OK, now that you've paid the driver. Can I fuck you?
Girl: Yes.
John: Get on your stomach.
<>
John: So you suck me now?
Girl: Yes.
John: So I fuck you now?
Girl: Yes.
John: Stand up and get naked.
<>
John: So will you suck me without a condom?
Girl: Well, it will cost more.
John: How much?
Girl: $300.
John: Wow, steep. But I like it. OK, I'm just going to fuck you with a condom OK?
Girl: Ya, OK. Do that. Fuck me now.
<>
John: What about me fucking you without a condom.
Girl: $500.
John: Very nice. How much to fuck your ass right now?
Girl: Right now?
John: Ya, right now.
Girl: $1000.
John: So for $1000 you will let me fuck your ass hard?
Girl: Yes
John: Funny how the number 1000 keeps popping up. OK. So I've already given you $170.
Girl: No you gave me $166.
John: Right, OK so if I give you $1000 total I would be giving you 1000 subtract 163 so I would give you $837. $837 for anal sex.
Girl: No, you give me $1000
John: Yes, so I give you one thousand total. Yes? So $837 more for anal.
Girl: No you give me a flat $1000.
John: OK so 1000 and 163 together are $1237? I'll give you total $1237 tonight?
Girl: No $1000 total.
John: You just missed a better deal. Too bad your too high to do math.
Girl: Hun?
John: Nothing. OK $1000 and I'm fucking your ass right now?
Girl: Ya.
John: OK how much to fuck you in the ass with no condom?
Girl: No. Not that. No amount of money to do that.
John: You're sure, there is no amount to temp you?
Girl: No, not for that. But with a condom it's $1000.
John: OK. Why do you think I brought you here tonight?
Girl: I have no idea. You are kinda weirding me out.
John: Exactly. Come with me into the kitchen.
Girl: What? No. Do you have recorders in there or something. Actually I want to move to that room there. I think you are recording me. I'm not going in the Kitchen
John: You can put your clothes back on. But come into the kitchen.
Girl: What. Clothes back on? Well OK.
<>
John: I had you come here to clean my kitchen.
Girl: What, are you serious?
John: Yes, I called you to clean my kitchen. Will you do that?
Girl: Just clean the kitchen. With my clothes on?
John: Well, for you it would be better to keep your clothes off. Other people it was better for their clothes to be on. But you can put them on if you want. Start by moving those boxes into the garage. Oh. Do you do dishes?
Girl: Ya, OK.
John: That's great. A lot of girls won't do anal. I mean dishes. I had a bad experience. I asked the agency for an open minded girl. Open minded girls like to do dishes right?
Girl: You are really weirding me out.
John: Exactly.
<>
John: Oh I don't want you to do the dishes. I wanted to see if you WOULD do the dishes. Besides I don't want your fingers touching something I'd eat off of.
Girl: Ya, I said I would do the dishes. Let me do them for you.
John: You missed the point. I don't want you doing dishes. I wanted to see if you would do dishes. Move the boxes. Put them all in the big box.
<>
Girl: You know this is really weird. No one asks to have me clean.
John: Would you rather I asked you to fuck me?
Girl: No. I'd much rather be cleaning than sucking your cock.
John: WHAT!? You saying I'm not attractive? Don't you think I'm a good looking guy?
Girl: No, no. You have a beautiful cock and I want to suck it. But it's not you. I'd rather be cleaning than sucking anyone's cock.
John: First, you haven't even seen me naked so you have no idea if it is beautiful. But it is. Second, you would make a terrible wife.
Girl: I'm not your wife. Why am I doing this. You're really weirding me out.
John: See. That is the thing I wanted from you. I didn't want to fuck you. I wanted to weird you out. And now you have given me that thing.
Girl: What are you talking about. You're like a crazy serial killer talking.
<>
John: Do I look like a serial killer?
Girl: Well you act weird like one.
John: Do you think I'm good looking?
Girl: Yes. But you're really weird.
John: Am I better looking than a typical guy you get.
Girl: YES. But you are the weirdest guy I've ever had. Your good looks don't compensate for the weirdness.
John: OK. But suppose I was a serial killer. Just suppose OK?
Girl: Please don't call yourself a serial killer.
John: OK. But suppose I was a serial killer. In this case, I am a serial killer.
Girl: Please stop saying that.
John: OK so why would me as a serial killer kill you right now? Your driver knows you're in here. I won't get away with it.
Girl: Ya, he'd kill you and we'd both be dead.
John: But me as an intelligent agent would not set up a scheme of killing someone where I myself die.
Girl: Ya. But I'm dead too.
John: Did I mention I write code N. Kasabov would be proud of?
Girl: What?
John: So what I'm saying is I wouldn't kill you in this way. I'd kill you in a way that doesn't end up with me caught or dead.
Girl: You are scaring me.
John: So how does this trick compare to others? Is it easier?
Girl: Well. I'm scared I'm going to end up dead.
John: But isn't it easier than most tricks. You're not fucking a bald 60 year old.
Girl: Well. Yes it is easy but I'm scared I'm going to end up dead.
John: But if you don't end up dead you will have said this was an easy trick?
Girl: Ya. I walk out of here alive this will have been a great trick.
John: Just as long as I don't kill you right?
Girl: Ya. Outside that great trick.
John: Would you recommend me to your friend?
Girl: Oh ya. Tricks like this. You will get the best girl only do happy to do a trick like this.
John: So you'll recommend me to the agency and your friends?
Girl: Oh yes. You'll get best girls for this gig.
John: But only if I don't kill them right?
Girl: Ya. Don't kill them
John: OK. So it makes even less sense for me to kill you.
Girl: What?
John: If I kill you, you won't tell other girls to come. So I have an incentive to not kill you. Then the other girls will get a good job as long as I don't kill them.
Girl: Ummm, yes. Oh. Hey. You got whiskey. Can I have some.
John: You want whiskey? Go ahead. I'd like to get you drunk.
Girl: Sounds nice.
John: Get drunk and I can take advantage of you.
Girl: You want to do that?
John: If I did wouldn't I have fucked you earlier? Think about it. Why bother getting you drunk. You would have fucked me earlier anyways. If I wanted to take advantage of you I'd have fucked you earlier wouldn't I?
Girl: I...don't know.
John: No. Actually I called you in tonight to not have sex with you.
Girl: What?
John: I wanted to pay you to not have sex with me.
Girl: So, you're like a philanthropist.
John: A very queer philanthropist I'd be. Finding out how much it would cost to fuck a girl in the ass then giving her money for nothing.
Girl: Ya I guess.
John: No. I just wanted you to be willing to fuck me and then not fuck me. Its a narcissist thing. You are willing to let me fuck your ass, then I chose not to.
Girl: It's not a narcissist thing. I would do it for money. Not because you are great.
John: I don't care about your motivations, it is your intension of fucking me I care about.
Girl: But it is for money so you are not achieving anything.
John: Yes. It is a power through money thing. I control you.
Girl: No you don't.
John: I gave you money and you were willing to fuck me. I'm a certain sense I did control you. But anyways ya that is me. So having fun tonight?
Girl: I guess ya.
John: Willing to do another night like this?
Girl: Well. As long as I get out alive. Can I used the washroom?
John: Ya sure
<>
John: Ya great. I think your driver is here now.
<>
John: So we'll do it again some night?
Girl: If you don't kill me.
John: Are you freaking out?
Girl: Yes.
John: Great. I'll tell the agency you were great tonight. Wonderful time with you. Really.
<>
John: I'll book again for Alison.
To:
sweetescorts1349 at gmail.com
subject:
Alison was great.
body:
I just wanted to write you a thank you email. Alison was great tonight. Couldn't have gotten a better service.
The only thing I wish is that she had a little better sense of humor. She didn't really want to laugh much. I like to have a girl who wants to laugh and be silly.
Besides that she was great. I hope she tells the agency I am a good customer and to send me good girls who are eager.
Thanks again. Look forward to continues business.
Response to email pending.
Statement of Purpose.
I have several goals for this blog:
http://milliondollarhomepage.com/
If a retarded grade one student came up with the business idea of selling pixels off a web site I would have had the kid sterilized. But Internet hype turned his zero idea into a million dollars.
And look at the crap videos that get released and everyone loves for no reason:
I mean take a look at Leeroy Jenkins and how popular it got:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leeroy_Jenkins
http://youtube.com/results?search_query=leroy+jenkins&search_type=&search=Search
And don't even get me started on girls with cups. Surely one of my video brain children is at least as interesting as these. So I will film and release them and see how popular they can become.
But in all fairness, ask a ninja is good:
And don't tase me bro is genius:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=don%27t+tase+me+bro&search_type=&search=Search
You can argue that once you've seen a movie you are not going to pay for it after so there would be no profit. Every hear of something called DVD releases? Last I heard they were doing well and often involve people buying stuff they have already watched. I just bought all of Jay Chandrasekhar's movies even though I've seen them because they are really good. The Internet is a fabulous tool for releasing media, but the people who are slowest at using this tool ( move and TV industry ) is the very people who should be utilizing it. The TV industry is slowly catching on but not fast enough.
What we are witnessing is a market failure from the media industries. Large corporations and not using tools readily available. So what we see is grass roots industry popping up all the time to compensate for this market failure. Of course these grass roots industries are very small. They can be as small as a person making a movie readily available using available tools like torrents. Even though people posting torrents don't make a profit they are satisfying a demand. People expect the convenience movie downloading can provide. The movie industry isn't meeting that demand.
So I want to market and profit from my movies using the tools available so this shall be my marketing scheme:
I shall release my movies free to watch. Watching my movie will allow you to decide if it is of value to you.
I shall endeavor to have as many people as possible watch my movies. I shall use tools readily available to spread full copies of my movies.
In order to watch one of my movies no one will have to pay (this will cause more people watch my films).
I shall release films that are interesting, unusual and thought provoking. After you watch one of my movies, you will feel it was worth watching.
I shall set up a website and if you feel you got value for my movie you will have the option of paying what you feel is fair. You take a car for a test ride, if you like it you pay a fair price for it. If you don't feel my movie was worth watching I don't want to cheat you so why should you pay for it. Only pay if it contained value for you. I will suggest the price of $0.25 for a viewing of one of my movies. Once you've paid me $0.25 for a movie you will be able to feel you've paid for it and are entitled to watch it whenever you want. If you didn't think it was good don't feel you have to pay anything. And as my movies will be available to watch on full over the Internet you won't need to own a DVD copy of one of my movies. You demand the convenience Internet distribution can provide and I supply it.
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